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What's your solution ? (man's point or view welcome) 

My husband works all week, I work too but fewer hours.  I usually do a lot of things around the house during the day and I work evenings.  On the week ends I like to have my spouse do somethings around the house that need repair, upgrading and etc.  When I ask him he says, "maybe this week end", but this week end comes and goes.  Next weekend comes and goes. 

 Often he likes to just relax on the week ends, and does not like to work on too much.  I most often do all the painting, grout baseboards and try to do what I can.  I do all the yard work also except he does cut the grass. Our house is older so needs certain repairs and up keep. 

 I have suggested that we get a handy man, which I have done numberous occasions but my husband doesn't like to do this either. 

 My husband does not like to pay someone to do things that we can do ourselves but a lot of things drag on longer then they should.  We have had numberous fights about this.  It seems like he doesn't want to do the things, it's always later or there is some excuse, but yet he does not what to pay I someone else to do it either. 

What are your ideas on this issue.........help

I feel like he doesn't care what I want or when I'd like to get it done, I have been trying to resolve this issue with him for many years now and it never seems to get resolved. 

 It seems like he is not bothered only when I ask him to do things he gets angry and defensive.

by janae  107 Posts 

Posted on 1/27/2009 12:18 AM
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Comments for "What's your solution ? (man's point or view welcome)"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)




I am going to let you in on a little secret, but you can't tell anyone ok.  Instead of telling him what you know needs to be done, suggest that it would be nice if this or that got fixed/cleaned/repaired or put away.  Maybe say thanks for doing what ever-picking up after dinner.  I spent too many years trying to help out and being told to stop, that when I did listen and stopped, it made the stbx more mad.  Men and women aren't really as different as I have been lead to believe by all the male bashing shows and books.  Respect, it all comes down to respecting each other strenghts and admitting to oneself that were not great at everything alone, but together nothing can stop us.
by Jamesalone   2778 Posts
Posted on 1/28/2009 11:33 PM
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Janae, I agree with kdb on this. it often depends how you ask and when. I can remember having worked a 80 to 90 hour week and just as I made myself comfortable my stbx would come down with a list of things she wanted done. Alot depends on yoru timing and how you ask the question.
by canary1922   355 Posts
Posted on 1/27/2009 10:20 AM
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are you asking question as a preface to the question of if you should divorce this man over this?
by paula1   12662 Posts
Posted on 1/27/2009 9:51 AM
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I would suggest a time frame when you expect it done and if not you will be hiring someone to do it. Just say I know you can do this better yourself, but it really needs to be done and your so busy and I understand that, so I will be having it done by such and such date if we can't do it ourselves by then. My stbxh always said he would get to it, but after awhile I would get aggravated and he would avoid it more, so when I did put it that way he generally would get it done. He appreciated that I would rather he do it as I knew he would be more apt to do it right and with a lot less expense, so a little stroking of the ego works wonders...
by kdb   3175 Posts
Posted on 1/27/2009 12:34 AM
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