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He had the affair and now he's mad at me for facebook????? 

Ok....just venting...but I am so mad right now. He is the one who had an affair not once but twice.He says he is a different man and doesn't ever want to be that man again.OK that said.My 20 year class reunion was cancelled this year (someone stole the funds at our 15 year reunion lol)I started a facebook and saw many of my friends from school.  I told my husband and he asked me if I was talking to them? and getting all jealous and ticked off!   I have talked to some of my guy friends from school, but its innocent!   I am not looking to have any kind of relationship with anyone but my husband , which is very hard right now!
I told him for 16 years, I didn't have a social life while he did....I didn't have any male friends while he admits to flirting with females all the time.   I told him that  I can be trusted and that I am not him.  I told him that I was going to continue to have a facebook and I enjoyed talking to old friends.....  AM I WRONG????  
I was told I needed to journal my feelings - I hope its ok that I did it on here.
by Colette  4 Posts 

Posted on 1/15/2009 4:05 PM
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Tags: affair , facebook
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Comments for "He had the affair and now he's mad at me for facebook?????"  (10) (You must be logged in to answer)

Thanks so much everyone!!!  It makes me feel so much better!
by Colette   4 Posts
Posted on 1/16/2009 7:44 AM

I don't think it's wrong at all.  You are only catching up with old friends from school you haven't seen in awhile and facebook is a good method to do that, especially since all our friends from school seem to move in so many different directions that it's hard to keep track of them.  I lost touch with many friends I'd love to get in contact with again and it's hard with your busy life and their busy life so facebook is an easy way to do this.  He's the one proven untrustworthy here, not you and he's afraid you will do the same thing he did.  But what he needs to realize is -- that you are not him and you are in control of what you do.  You just want to catch up with friends and stay in contact since the class reunion thing is a no go.  Which sucks by the way--who could steal the funds from that anyways--how desparate do they need to be?!!  Anyways, you are doing nothing wrong here.
by freedom   1017 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 10:53 PM

Missed reading the affair part.  He is feeling guilty and worried you will do the same thing.
by 123   1906 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 10:53 PM

It is okay to post on Facebook!  Also, wonder what he is really mad about???? When he calms down talk to him again and see whats going on.
by 123   1906 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 10:51 PM

It isn't wrong to have a facebook or to chat up old friends. Even if thier of the opposite sex. Maybe the reason he doesn't like it is because he doesn't trust himself. This is his demon rearing its ugly head.
by Greatdad   560 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 9:59 PM

You are not wrong for wanting to reach out to friends, to renew old friendships, to chat, to catch-up. You've been upfront and honest about what you are doing. If he's going to be paranoid about it, that's his problem - not yours. He doesn't have much of leg to stand on with this.
by Sunflower2   293 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 9:46 PM

Yeah, that's pretty nervy of him.  No, you're not doing anything wrong.  If he's got a problem with you talking to people on facebook, it's his problem...just because he's projecting what HE would do if he were on facebook talkin' to old girlfriends, then that's on him.  Sounds like he has a lot of security issues...it's why he's so jealous.

And yes, this is the perfect place to journal your thoughts!  Keep posting and blogging...it won't happen all at once, but you will feel better the more you blog and the more you vent.  I'm soooo sorry you're going through all this.  Keep posting and keep us posted!  Good luck.
by BlueB   3218 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 6:36 PM

i dont think that its wrong at all. i am doing the same thing on face book . looking for friends. so let him be mad.
by cherbear   5472 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 6:36 PM

Thanks Kitty thats what I was thinking too.
by Colette   4 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 6:28 PM

I don't think it's wrong as long as you're not looking for anything other than "catching up".    It sounds like you've been open with him about it since the beginning, so honestly, he's the one with the problem.
by Kitty7470   3803 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 5:12 PM

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