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Three months ago today

Well, it was three months ago today that my husband was caught with the OW, in his truck down a dirt road by our 24 yo son, his wife called me and told me because my son couldn't tell me himself.

I moved out two days later he broke it off with her, wants me back. He still loves me, it didn't mean anything, it was just a piece of a$$, yeah, for four years he was sneaking around with her, lying and cheating, they had a secret phone, meeting for sex 3 or 4 days a week, he said he knew it was wrong, tried to break it off with her many times but she "wouldn't let him", he was afraid she would tell me and hurt me.

I think he just realized what he lost and want his life back the way it was, when the truth came out, finally, there have been others over the years, he's a good liar, he's not the man I thought he was.

So I'm trying to move on, I have moved on, but the emotional ties are hard to break, after almost 33 years I still love him, but is it enough?????

Tell me your thoughts, please, this website has helped tremenously, everyone here understands, btw his last affair started after I was recovering from breast cancer, about one year after my diagnosis date, I was doing well, had returned to work, returning to normal.. no...my new normal...this is not normal...this is crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!

by hurtenough 45 Posts

Posted on 1/14/2009 12:13 PM

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Comments for "Three months ago today" (8) (You must be logged in to answer)

Now he is hurting becouse he knows he screwed up and will never get it back and he does not deserve you.

by BBear 62 Posts
Posted on 1/16/2009 3:10 PM

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28 years married and a year now since he initiated the divorce -- after multiple affairs he found one he supposedly can't live without. I wouldn't go back even if he asked and I know he won't. Once a cheater always a cheater. I would go through some intensive marriage counseling if I thought for one minute it would make a difference. But the trust issue would be a difficult one for me to get over again.

by scared27years 283 Posts
Posted on 1/16/2009 9:22 AM

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Your story sounds all too familiar. I am still in the process of a divorce because my husband after 13 years of marriage decided to have 2 long term relationships. Now he is trying to validate why it was O.K. Yikes! Hang in there. We deserve to be treated with so much more respect than we think. Someone told me something that really made sence....we need to be our partners 'priority' and not their 'option'. The emotional ties are going to be there for awhile. I still struggle and its been 6 months since I filed. Keep your chin up and take care of yourself. YOU are the most important person right now. TURN to your friends, family, and d360. If your religious....PRAY! Sometimes we have to get through the stormy weathers to get to the oasis on the other side. Just take it one day at a time and remember there will ALWAYS be someone at d360 here to help!

by cjking34 13 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 3:34 PM

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I have been married for 15 years it's been almost 10 months I found out about my husbands affair as well "She told me" if it wasn't for my sister in law seeing him with her I probably wouldn't of known!!! I forgave him... and I cought him at her house.. (check out my blog for that story)! he came back home after that... but, when I saw her phone number on his phone that was the last draw for me... I was sure I had to call it quits he has hurt me so much already... I can't trust him I don't see him the same anymore, My feelings for him have totally changed.... but, It will have to take alot in your part to forgive him it's hard! especially gaining his trust!! it's very hard.. but, I hope if he wants you back he makes some changes and tried to gain your trust again...

by achiever479 138 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 5:33 AM

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I had been married 18 years, found out he was cheating......I would have been willing to work it out, but he didn't want to.

I have found that I'm much happier with out him....It took about 5 months for me to realize that completely! Oh, I still have my moments, but I think he did the right thing by just calling it quits...I don't think I would have truly been able to forgive and certainly not able to forget. Also, the trust would have been gone.

I can't imagine being with someone that long and calling it quits. But do you really want to be with someone who had a longterm relationship with someone else? Be glad you found out....it sounds like you have a loving son and daughter in law to help you with this. Also, keep blogging and posting..I know it helped me greatly.

by angielou 1565 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 5:08 AM

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I may not be the best one to advise, my STBex cheated on me multiply times, I stayed, this time I left. Some things never change, his cheating did not. I still thought I loved him at first, now I realize it was the comfort of things. I wavered back and forth..do I love him..do I not.
Only you will know when you are ready, it still won't be easy, what ever you decide.

by sjg 1772 Posts
Posted on 1/15/2009 5:03 AM

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Without trust and respect, no love is not enough. I went that route, forgave and took my 1st. ex back, then he did it again! If you feel you can work together and it's something you both want, then perhaps it could. He would have to earn your trust again, this won't happen overnight, this is where counseling for both would come in. Then you have to be able to forgive, and let it go, you won't forget obviously, but forgiving is very important. Take care and I wish you the best...

by kdb 3175 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 6:44 PM

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It feels that way now but hang in there. Just like the passing of a family member, time will heal. I know it doesn't feel that way but everyone else here will tell you the same. Write as much as you feel like here and it will bring closure quicker.

by Dock 402 Posts
Posted on 1/14/2009 1:58 PM

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