This post is about boobs.  

This post is about boobs.

But not in the way you think.  Is it coincidence that "boobs" means both “an idiot” and “a woman’s chest?” I think not.  ‘Cause whenever boobs are around, men act like idiots!

Ok let’s review:  I am a divorced mother.  Went for a long while without sex, fixed that.  See my blog.

When I first got married, I worked for a small advertising firm.  I (stupidly) quit when my oldest was born, started working again part-time after my divorce.  As I had been out of the workforce for a while, I was lucky to find work.  I was able to get a job as a part-time copywriter at a small ad agency.  I want and need to go full-time, but they don’t need me more.  But they are nice and it pays almost ok.  And they are pretty flexible.  I’m lucky just to have a job!  It isn’t as good as the job I had before my marriage, but again, I am lucky to be working.  I have several friends who aren’t!

I got a call from a girlfriend about a local firm that had an opening that was similar to my old job, would I be interested? The pay was a lot better and it would be full-time.  Yes!!!!!  I arrange an interview.

So, back to boobs.  I would say I have average boobs.  Not big, not small, not really super perky, just average.  I have talked a lot about my boobs though, as my ex-husband was breast obsessed – constantly talking about how great so-and-so looked (boob job) or did I think so-and-so had lost weight? (boob job).  On and on.  For the record, I am not against boob jobs, I am against being constantly reminded about my lack of one. 

Women are trained from birth to hate their bodies, I rebelled years ago and actually almost like the way my body looks, but my boobs are not my greatest feature.  But, as I have proven earlier, I am no prude, and I do like the “impact” a low-cut blouse can have on a man.  If wearing something a little racy makes me feel better about myself, who does it hurt? 

BUT!!!

This is a job interview. No cleavage!  While ad agencies are usually far from traditional in attire, it’s still an interview, so I wore an outfit that was cute yet very conservative.    

I go to the interview.  I first meet with the woman I would be replacing.  She is super nice, her family is moving out west or something.  We have some friends in common.  The office is nice, the clients are cool and they have free soft drinks and snacks, which is neat!  She says it is a good company, she would never leave, but her husband got a great job, etc.  Cool!

Next is the big boss.  Professional, seems nice. Heard nice things about me some friends, he thinks they have a nice environment (don’t all bosses? Does any boss think they have a crap environment?), I have a good background etc.  Great!  Except…

The whole time he is just staring at my chest.  Not looking at the desk, not watching my face, not staring at the ceiling.  Just my boobs.  Staring at ‘em like they were on fire.  Which they are not (neither figuratively or literally).

Again, I’m not wearing anything super tight or low cut or even very exciting (I promise).  I have stuff that would qualify, but it is at home.  This is not behavior I am familiar with.

I have a friend who loves men, and to be honest, men love her.  Why wouldn’t they? She is beautiful and funny and super-smart and a bit of a flirt.  She can also tell a dirty joke and not blush, which guys love.  She also has excellent breasts.  I would compare them to Scarlett whats-her-names.  Full and perky and just perfect.  If she goes to a cocktail party, there will always be a gaggle of men around her, laughing at her stories and staring at her chest.  Some of my girlfriends hate being with her, but I don’t.  I love to laugh and yes, I stare at them too.  And yes, they are spectacular!  If she were here at this interview and Boss I-love-boobs was staring at her, it would make sense, because she would not doubt be wearing something that “shoves ‘em out there” and, well, they are spectacular.  As for me, again, I am wearing a very conservative outfit which, while not loose, sort of hides everything.

Boss boobs-a-lot clearly disagrees.  Based on his behavior, he just can’t get enough of my chest.  The interview continues on.  He says they are having trouble filling the position, (I can’t imagine why!) that the company is rapidly growing, there is future room for advancement, etc. 

He stares.  I squirm.  I am not used to being stared at chest-level.  In an interview. With a very very reputable firm.  Ugh!

I cross my arms, I squirm more, I make sure everything is where it should be (it is!).  At one point I sort of duck down so my head is where my boobs were a second ago, but he is a dog with a bone.  So to speak. My boobs are his focus. 

He makes me an offer there on the spot. More money than I make now, work is closer to my house, and it is a better job.  I tell him I need to sleep on it.  I call my friend that referred me, she says she never saw that type of behavior from him when she worked there, it must have been a “coincidence.”  WTF? A coincidence I have boobs?  

What would you do? Take the job and be stared at all day? Hope it was a one-time thing? Pass on the job and stay where you are?

What would you do? 

I’ll tell you what I did next, I promise.  I just don’t want to bias the responses!