How do we become "the other woman"? 

As someone who has become the "other woman" more than once in her life, I began questioning this pattern.  Of course at first I wanted to blame the jerk that lied and misled me.  But then I was the one that continued the sneaking around. 

 

So was it him?  Well after much self-reflection I decided that we very rarely get treated any worse than we allow ourselves to be treated.  So the fact that I continued was my own doing.  But what made me so desparate to continue in the first place?  My own self-esteem.  I didn't love myself, or think highly enough of myself to stand up.  I was looking outside for validation.  I wanted to feel loved, sexy, needed.  I didn't seem to recognize that I needed to give myself all of those things from the inside and that nobody would every completely satisfy those things.  Only I could. 

 

So today, I've been on quite a series of dates.  Most don't make it past the first date, because now I'm looking for someone to share life with, not to validate me.  So when they aren't compatible, or they're otherwise attached etc. I can easily move on, because I'm not looking for anyone to complete me.