sex and the after life 

There are days (most days) in which sex is all I can think about too! It has been a lot longer for me than most and there are days that I don't know how I will make it. I've been told that sex is a want and not a need but it feels like a need to me. I guess that sex alone would ease that need and, believe me, I wouldn't turn down an offer! I long for so much more than that though. I long for what you can't have with a one night stand. I want the connection that 2 people in love have. I truly want to bring pleasures to a very special woman. What better way to show my love than to make her feel good. Feel good both physically and emotionally. What is it like to lie in bed with her thinking there is no other place on earth I would rather be? Feeling her skin against mine as she drifts off to sleep after giving her the pleasures she so richly deserves Oh my....
Gosh I feel for you dyben. I can't know a woman's perspective on this but I do understand the need and the overpowering desire for sex.

I think it boils down to loneliness and missing that connection you speak about.  On the bright side I think it is also about healing.  Thoughts are more forward and not so much about the past.

We all need that connection - men and women.  Especially, after a long relationship and being on the hurtful end of things.

How you go about it is up to each one of us.  If it is sex and attention and you go into it with that attitude there is nothing wrong with that.  If you want to wait for a relationship - that is OK also.

I think we all find it difficult to start again.  When we were young all of us were basically in the same boat.  Now that we are older and although there are many lonely divorced people out there, we all have so many responsibilities, so many emotional issues, so many ties to the past it is just much harder - at least in my opinion.

I have said before this Board tends to get a biorhythm of its own at times and lately the feelings of loneliness appear to dominate.

I feel much the same as you do today and have been for the past few weeks.  It is comforting to begin thinking of "someone" else to know I am putting the past behind.  It is also scary as where do you start?  Hell, I cannot even get on EHarmony yet because the divorce is not final and my stbx is now dragging HER feet - cruel twist of fate. 

As a man many women might think we are just after some sex to tide us over so to speak.  I will admit that would be nice but it would be better just to meet a woman to share some fun, get to know each other, provide some comfort and have great sex.  If no ties are expected going in that is fine.  If something develops that may even be better.  No one night stands though if possible - been there done that - want a little more than that even if it is temporary.

I wish I had an answer for you, dyben.  I still sleep on "my" side of the bed even though we've been separated for months, and it's been longer than that since, well, you know.  But the thought of actually making the effort to first meet someone and then progress to that point just seems overwhelming to me right now.

But I know what you mean about the loneliness.  It would be nice to just have someone to hold me.

Lucky that you have good sex memories to remember.  I didn't.  I had to move on quickly because I knew what I lacked in my marriage so I went for it since the ex asked for the divorce. 

First, you have to know exactly what you need otherwise whomever you choose as the first may be the tranistional one. 

 

Second, you could consider the FWB, friend with benefits.  It can be said much more cruedly but I will not go there. 

Third, you could hold out for the one. 

I would think it's understandable, the way you are feeling.  We as humans are sexual and social.  We have the need for that connection. 

Does that help?

Join the club a few of us here are thinking of starting a sex starved support group and the energizer bunny is our sponsor, we understand what you are saying it is hard to go from having that connection and then having no connection.  But I enjoy sleeping in bed alone, if I want to sleep in the middle I can if I want to have all the pillows I can and of I want to just take all the covers and snore like a boat coming out of a dence fog I can.  You will get this feeling for sometime but it also will be enjoyable too so just sleep like you own the bed and have a good time