divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Community  :: nicename's Stuff  :: nicename's Blog

  click here 
Personal Tags

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
You can search for Blogs by tag here:

Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

Why won't he just divorce me already?!  

My ex and I separated in April 2005.  We were barely married a week before he decided that we got married too young (at 23) and started acting really different.  After living with each other for 6 months he told me he wanted a divorce.  I'm not a huge fan of bashing him so I'll try to hold it down, but I just don't get that after not wanting to be with me for all this time why he just won't file the paperwork. 


I know at first he delayed the divorce because the military paid him extra and gave him a housing allowance.  But he's out now and it's been almost a year and I'm pretty sure his work isn't paying him extra for him being married.  So why won't he just divorce me already? 


He has a new life on the other coast, a girlfriend, and 2 new vehicles.  As far as I'm concerned he lives a happy life.  So why tell me that as far as he's concerned we're not even legally separated? It makes no sense.  He asked for the divorce, I just want some peace of mind, nothing more, well other than the divorce he asked for. 


I guess he figures him procrastinating doesn't hurt anyone, but it does, it hurts me.



by NiceName  31 Posts 

Posted on 9/2/2008 11:03 PM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend

  |  Blog posts by NiceName  |  Next Post >>

Comments for "Why won't he just divorce me already?! "  (3) (You must be logged in to answer)


I was married for over 30 years.  We finally went before the judge.  He stated directly to the judge that he did not want this divorce.  WHAT?  Yeah right.  I thought ok judge, ask the crazy man why.  Well I shall tell you why he does not want a divorce.  The man was collecting his retirement (retired at 47.  Trump can't even afford to retire) and knew that once we were divorced half of his retirement was mine.  I am still waiting for it.  It has to go through his retirement dept. at work.  It has been three months.

If he has not filed for divorce, it is either because he knows that you will be eligible for some monetary funds or it gives him a great excuse to the girlfriend that he can't marry her. 

Don't give him an easy way out.  Start it yourself and see just what he is hiding from you.

by helplessnomore   79 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2008 8:05 PM

If he has a new life then he shouldn't be trying to hold on to you. Maybe you should go ahead and file and get it over with so you can start your life over.  It seems to me that if he still wanted to be married, he wouldn't be having a girlfriend and a new life, or perhaps he just doesn't want to spend the money on the divorce papers?  I wish you all the best... it isn't easy just waiting and wondering.
by deborah-trevino   1100 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2008 7:09 AM

After 6 months of being married I was told he wasn't happy but didn't want a divorce. 

After 10 1/2 years of being married I was told he wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. 

He did nothing about it, so I filed. 

I had to take control of my life. 

Even after I filed, he insisted that we should stay married!?!?  Luckily we are not.  We have property matters to settle.
by purebredinip   1194 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2008 6:48 AM

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 14 Real Life Ways To Save Money
Do Divorce And Money Mix?

2. You Just Found Out They Cheated, Now What?
8 Things You May Not Know About Cheating

3. African-Americans and Marriage
African-Americans are Less Likely to Marry and More Likely to Divorce, Studies Show

4. Divorce = $100,000
Love is Grand, but When It's Gone, Divorce Can Cost More Than Twenty Grand

5. Don't Get Even...Get Mad
Yes, Anger Can Save Your Relationship. Here's How.