It's christmas!! 

I am feeling such euphoria just because my stbx has to be away overnight!!  I have been cheery and giddy all day!!  I even bought myself fresh flowers!!  I realized that I don't do that anymore because I know he will be mad and think I'm having an affair.  It friggin' hit me how horrible that is!!!  For all of these years I have been accused of lying and cheating..even when my babies were little.  He used to ask my then 3 year old, "did mommy talk to any men at the park today?"  I have been trying not to act to excited as to not act like I am happy about some secret!!  I can't believe I have been living this way for 8 years! 

I will not doubt myself anymore!!  I AM doing the right thing!!

Anyway...back to euphoric "ness"   I bought food to make my kids a nice family dinner, have 2 kinds of brownies in the oven right now!! (peanut buttercup and gooey, fudgy warm chocolate..who needs sex??  I've got steamy moist fudgy brownies!!)  Plus I cleaned all of their rooms sprayed febreeze everywhere and will have candles lit and the yum smells when they get off the bus!!  Plus some movies I rented!! 

Usually, if I'm not working, nights around here are horrid!  I make an early dinner for the kids, clean up, then HE comes home.  We don't talk (unless it's some putdown or sarcasm, then i go off on my own to the computer or read the paper.  He and the kids watch tv together or play a game....i hate him too much to join in!!

Ok..i have ot stop an dcheck those brownies........the point of this is....I will be poor..my kids will have to adjust...i will probably lose the house...but quess what...............

I WILL STILL BE THE HAPPIEST I HAVE BEEN IN YEARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thanks for listening!