Remember the Kids Before You Fight With Your Soon-To-Be Ex. 

Getting divorced has to be one of the toughest processes we ever go through.  In our society I don't think there is a single one of us who hasn't been touched by it in some way.  And rather you are going through it currently, have survived and lived to tell about it, or just know someone, you know that if there are kids involved it is that much more difficult. 

I am however constantly surprised that we grown-ups allow our emotional confusion and anger to lead us into actions that ultimately only hurt our children.  Rather you are going through the divorce or have come out the other side, I encourage you, each and every time you are tempted to argue with your ex to STOP and think.  Is what you are so vested in arguing about really that important?  Is it really worth having that revenge?  Is it life and death?  Because the emotional trauma that your child/ren are suffering by watching their parents argue is a pretty expensive price tag. 

As much as you may want your child to take sides, the bottom line is that your child loves both of his/her parents rather you like it or not.  And when you launch your cannons trying to hurt your ex, unfortunately your beloved child (that you may even think you are trying to protect) is getting caught in the cross fire.  Nobody would ask for a child to live with parents that constantly fight, argue, manipulate, seek revenge, or are emotionally or physically violent.  Many of us leave relationships trying to get our child out of such environments. 

However, there are also many of us who carry those same conditions right into our divorce and on into our shared custody relationships.  This is dangerous.........do you really want your child growing up learning how to be negative, nasty, and ugly, from you?  Think about if whatever you are arguing about is REALLY worth it. 

Be very honest.  Step out of your emotional role for just a minute, and then decide?  Is it really worth chipping away at your child's happiness??