I know I should divorce but................. 

Updates 8/28/08 DCF came to the house, I have seen a pshciatrist and pshychologist and no one is helping. DCF say there's nothing physical and the phsycologist won't do an assessement without my husbands approval, where does that leave my daughter?.......

Why only a female counselor? I thought the same way but mine is male and he is great. You need to make plans and get out. What he is doing to your children will follow them for the rest of their lives. The kids are trying to tell you what to do in their own little way. They are scared and shouldn't have to live that way. What Paula posted is good advice on what constitutes abuse. Godhelpme had some good things to say too. You need to find a way out of this for your children. You all deserve better than living this way.
Take care

Welcome to my world, I am sorry that you are having this.  I just joined this today and am so desperately looking for my own answers, but, yet when I hear you say what is going on in your life it is clear to me that you would and your childrren would be better with out that emotional abuse.  Don't let a man hurt you and hurt your children.  THAT JUST WRONG.  (God I wish I could listen you myself more)  ITs sjust taking that step to do it.  We all know when its time, we just lie to ourseves, because as mom's we always come last. 

I get it every day, and daily i feel myself shrinking into a shell.  I don't even smile any more.  My youngest son asks me why I don't smile any more.  An I just fake one for him.  Thank God for your children and don't stay so that they learn that it is ok to be treated bad.  BECAUSE ITS NOT.  You maynot be perfect for him, because of his issues.  None of us can be perfect, but, you too have the right to be happy. 

An guess what, I guess that means I do too.  Go figure.

this is disgusting.  i am shocked that he is doing this.  this is cruel.  please read this, and then call the hotline for more information.  this is abuse in my opinion:

The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines abuse as:

• Calling bad names or putting someone down
• Shouting and cursing
• Hitting, slapping and/or pushing
• Making threats of any kind
• Jealousy and suspicion
• Keeping someone away from family and friends - isolation
• Throwing things around the house

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To recognize whether your partner is abusing you, ask whether your partner:

• Embarrasses you with put-downs?
• Looks at you or acts in ways that scare you?
• Controls what you do, who you see or talk to or where you go?
• Stops you from seeing your friends or family members?
• Takes your money, makes you ask for money or refuses to give you money?
• Makes all of the decisions?
• Tells you that you’re a bad parent or threatens to take away or hurt your children?
• Prevents you from working or attending school?
• Acts like the abuse is no big deal, it’s your fault, or even denies doing it?
• Destroys your property or threatens to kill your pets?
• Intimidates you with guns, knives or other weapons?
• Shoves you, slaps you, chokes you or hits you?
• If you have contacted law enforcement, forces you to try and drop charges?
• Threatens to commit suicide?
• Threatens to kill you?

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If you are a victim of domestic violence, please call:

National Domestic Violence Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) 1-800-787-3224 (TTY)