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Legal Seperation 

Is legal separation really worth the hassle? A couple is legally separated only if the couple has successfully petitioned a court to recognize their separation, living apart does not constitute separation. It does not automatically lead to divorce, however it’s the first step. The couple can reconcile, in which case they need do nothing in order to remain married. If they do not reconcile, and wish to divorce after the statutory time period, they must then file for divorce. Who would want to go to court first for a separation and then again if you decide to divorce? That’s sounds like a bunch of legal fees that you can do without. I left without going to court BUT I did an “order to show cause” for support of my children. My ex was paying me on his own until he hooked up with the woman he is now divorcing. She lost custody of her children and told him that he should not pay me, so he didn’t. I took him to court and had a garnishment PDQ (pretty dam quick). I think if time apart is what you need, take some time to assess your situation. Don’t do anything drastic until you have thought it thru thoroughly and come to your own conclusion. If someone has advice, its OK to listen but its not their life, its yours. The court doesn’t need to be involved until or unless you are ready for the actual divorce. I think it’s a waste of money and it’s not something that's mandatory. If it makes you feel better to file then do it. Although, wouldnt you rather spend the money on retail therapy or maybe counseling? The courts will be hard enough if and when you actually decide its over. I dont need to pay them for a taste of freedom or a clear conscience. Any thoughts?
by Lori-Woodall  922 Posts 

Posted on 8/18/2008 11:40 PM
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Comments for "Legal Seperation"  (5) (You must be logged in to answer)

I just saw this - and wanted to comment -


in most states where legal separation is required, it is actually attached to a "no-fault divorce" provision - a couple has to be legally separated x amt of years before a divorce can be granted on only irreconcilable differences grounds - as opposed to a long drawn out fault divorce. It's actually a less expensive option. The legal separation document that is signed pretty much spells out the provisions of the divorce itself, including the eventual split of marital assets and custody of the children.

Now there are those who are just on the fence about splitting up, and CHOOSE to file legal separation and just document whatever is going to keep their assets "safe" and custody "temporary" - and it in no way is the "driveway" so to speak to divorce - they could file fault or no fault - but they are protecting themselves (sortof) while making that decision. That, is a waste of money - I say sit and shit (aka deal with your marital crap) or get off the pot.

by spaznskitz   11339 Posts
Posted on 8/29/2008 8:06 PM

Silly is a great word to describe it...ridiculous comes to mind as well. How would you prove not having sex for a year? Cobbwebbs in your vagina? Man, that would definitely make me think twice before getting married there. Not that it all leads to divorce but my goodness, they have way too much control over peoples lives and happiness. If you want out, you should be able to leave...not stay married for a year because they said so. HELLO.....
by Lori-Woodall   922 Posts
Posted on 8/22/2008 11:28 PM

I live in New York.  I am not a lawyer, so my description of things may be a little off.  A friend who is a lawyer said our state's divorce laws are "medieval".  He said a good number of people claim that they have not had sex for a year as grounds for divorce.  I guess it is kind of hard to prove or disprove and if both agree to sign...I find it all so silly.
by meteor   524 Posts
Posted on 8/22/2008 9:55 PM

Good gravy...what state do you live in?? I thought this was America, home of the free....I wouldnt want any court telling me what to do.
by Lori-Woodall   922 Posts
Posted on 8/22/2008 9:45 PM

I see what you mean.  To put it coldly, paying a lawyer for a separation and then a divorce seems kind of silly.  I have been telling my husband that I want a separation for a couple of reasons, though:  My state does not do no-fault divorce, so the way to do it is be legally separated for a year, then divorce.  I did not want things to get ugly and have to claim mental abuse or something.  The second reason is that we still live together and I am afraid of how he will react to the idea of divorce, even though I want one.  I want the two of us to be living apart when I tell him that I want a divorce. 

I get what you are saying, though.  I would love to just move out for a while and get some breathing room instead of getting lawyers involved.  This separation and then divorce thing annoys me.  Like the law thinks I did not think through my decision.  They want to give me a year in limbo to think it over and try to work things out.  Or I can place blame and get the divorce quicker.  Yuck!

by meteor   524 Posts
Posted on 8/19/2008 12:32 AM

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