Why, when I just start to think i have a handle on things... 

I'm so sorry you are down. I understand what you are going thru--I was only married for a year, but when we separated, I went thru all the ups and downs just like you. It must be magnified for you, having been married for 15 yrs!! I'm so sorry you are hurting. There are days when you feel like you can take on the world, and days when you can barely face the world. All I can say is it WILL get better. I agree with some of the other commentors on this blog--find whatever it is that helps take the edge off, be it your faith, a counselor or trusted friend/family member to confide in. Perhaps a support group?? for me, it was my faith. And there are days when I felt so alone (once and a while there are still days like that). I just wanted to be swept off my feet by the man I had wanted my ex-husband to be: kind, respectful, loving companion. I'm still holding out hope that that day will come.

Keep your head up!!
Hugs to you, too!!!!!!

I mean no disrespect by this, so hopefully you don't take this the wrong way...

Are you seeing a counselor/therapist at all?

From your posts I would HIGHLY recommend it to at least get you through the actual divorce. Your friend's comment and your reaction to that really made me think that maybe this depression is more than you can really handle on your own and it is now time to involve help until your transition is complete.

A counselor/therapist can help you deal with the feelings of loneliness and give you ideas for sleeping better. Maybe they will prescribe some medication, maybe not, but I think it is time to try to move forward with someone else's help.

You've been given some GREAT ideas from others on here, but if you still feel like not getting out and doing something that has been advised/offered, I think it is time to involve some other help from someone you can look at and talk to face to face.

I have dealt with depression off and on for 15 years, and while I hated the thought of actually seeing a counselor or going on medication, it really was the BEST thing I could have ever done. I still feel bad some days, but it is nothing compared to what it was before.

Do the pillows to ease your loneliness in bed. Get a pet (even if it's not a dog, a rabbit or other small animal can give you the same benifits of easing loneliness). Get out and join a group of some sort.

Yes, this is very hard and depressing, and you've been depressed throughout your marriage due to lack of affection (and I mean that on all levels, not just physically), and the longer this goes on, the longer it will be before you can heal. Wasn't the length of your affectionateless marriage long enough? Why prolong it any more? It's time to do something before this overwhelms you so much that you are taken into the black abyss that depression CAN take you down and you are lost forever...and where NOBODY could bring you back from.

I'm so sorry you are hurting so bad...

I agree with matti. Going to church has helped me tremendously. I started taking something to help me sleep. Have you tried that?

Dear friend....just because you're moving on with the divorce, and unfortunately stuck in hell until all is said and done and you can move out doesn't mean you can't do things. Perhaps not with other women yet, but you could call your local chamber of commerce and see if they have a mens group around you could join. If not, perhaps a local church? Wen I was separated and not dating yet, because I wanted to be sure about the divorce my ex began dating...hot and heavy...only married women of course. LOL! Anyway, I started going back to church, was re-baptized 13 mos ago, joined the singles group at church, and a Divorce Recovery group that my church has. I still have my bad days, and like you said, when I'm tired, I'm a mess. That's when I start the Good/Bad list again....all the stuff I liked about him, and all the stuff I hated....when I see how long the "hated" list is I'm usually fine. LOL!!! Would ya get the book already!!! Sheesh! LOL!  IM me if you want later, k. Toots!!! Hope you feel better!

Rich,
I work til I'm just tired enough I can sleep. I usually keep two or three projects going at the same time so I don't get bored. If I'm bored I have bad days. If I really overdo it I will have several bad days.
I snuggle up with a pillow too. Gather up some of your male friends and have a night out. Dinner, conversation and a drink or two. Take up another hobby. Something that will really occupy your time and your mind.
It will get better.

Rich u kno what I did?? it is so stupid but I cant sleep either and I hate being alone so I got 5 overstuffed pillows on my bed just so I have something to snuggle up against. I am till sexless but at least I am warm and cuddly  Told you it was stupid but.....what the hell. 
  I am sorry you are so lonely. I know you will meet who you are ment to be with. I keep hope we all will.  Remember you always got your friends here to talk to!!  ***huggs***

Oh Rich! I'm soo sorry! I felt like this the other day when I was exhausted, and actually started bawling at work. Horrid.

I can tell you that it WILL get better and be easier with sleep and time.

Is there anything that you can do to help you sleep and/ or keep you occupied to help pass the time? I found that if I kept busy with silly stupid things then time passed seemingly faster....