Falling out of love 

am OUT too many lies just to much pain , I didn't fell that way for many months after. I was marriage for 23 years and tried to hold and work on my marriage but i was the only one trying all he was doing is lying. You get to the point that you know you must move on. Yes its very painful to let go but i must save myself. Broken Dreams i call it.

I have a tendency to get off the subject. Anyway the emails would just hurt her in court. He said if they were back in court he would ask for all the money she spent on my husband. She never worked in their marriage. So if I managed to hurt her financially-my thought-she needs to be working so she doesn't have time to @uck with married men.
I am dealing with a wedding, then dealing with her, then dealing with him. That is my plan. I am taking care of myself and doing alot of reading now. I hope when all is said my books will help me find serenity. Right now I still hold to much hurt and things are not settled. I will keep you posted.

No drastic moves on my part just yet. Daughters wedding less than a month away now. Staying busy-every day is different. Reconnected with an old friend from school yesterday. I saw her at a local store about two years ago and of course we promised we would stay in touch. We were best of friends in school and of course she was one of the people my husband did not want in my life. One of the many friends that were easier for me to cut off than fight with him over his jealous feelings. We spoke for a long time and plan on getting together for walks and workouts. I don't see my husband in my future. I'm not going to be able to get past the hurt he has caused me. I spoke to the OW husband (now ex) (nothing to with the affair) last month. I was shocked when he came to the house to return a tool he had borrowed from my husband. They were outside and I went out and when they were finished talking I told him I needed to speak to him. My husband went inside (he knew) he advised me she had lied to him and as of that day she still had him convinced their was nothing between them other than friends. I told him I had emails from her-not sure of truth (he said/she said) but told him it was more than friends and gave him the info my husband had given me. He called me a day later and requested the emails -I gave him copies. OW emailed me a few days later stating she will get revenge (go figure). I called her and told her if he had contacted me around the first of the year when they were finalizing their divorce he would of had them then in hopes it would help him. Things have been tough on her due to her x was a good provider. He was fair with her (divorce) and now she is missing the unlimited funds. She was going to take him back to court as she was diagnosed as bi-polar and was stating she was not in her right mind. I'm not wanting negative responses due to this disease-but here we must know the source-she put herself here. This was a way for her to attempt to get more from him.

FIRST I WOULD LIKE TO SAY THAT MTNVLY AND 2MUCH42LONG HAD SOME EXCELLENT ADVISE AND THEY WERE ABLE TO HELP ME AS WELL WITHOUT EVEN KNOWING IT SO THANKS FOR THAT GUYS. AS FOR ME THINGS ARE JUST GETTING WORSE, REALLY BAD AS A MATTER OF FACT BUT I WANT TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WERE DOING ALRIGHT SMALLTOWNGIRL SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
TAKE CARE DELI

Mtnvly, you must have read the same book my wife had me read.  I think it was called "What If I Married the Wrong Person".  The only thing I got out of that book was the "love bank" analogy, and it's a good one.  I my case, I my account was loaded going in, but my wife never made a deposit, and made lots of withdrawls.  After many years of that, the bank was broke.  Empty.

I also agree that if you truly are in love, you can't fall out of love.  But the fake thing sure can feel like the real thing, especially when you're too young, raging with hormones, and you don't know what the real thing feels like.

Hang in there, STG.  We're here for you.

First let me say that I don't think we "fall out of love". I think if you truly loved them once you will always love them.
What happened in my marriage is that the hurt that he was causing to me and my children "wounded" me and "bruised" our love. When you get hurt it covers or hides the love and we don't think it is there anymore. These wounds can go deep. And if the knife is continually put in the wound , it gets deeper and deeper. I read somewhere it is like a love bank. When you love someone you make "deposits". You call , send flowers , make their favorite meal, you love doing things for and with them. Think about when you dated and how you treated that person. 
 When hurt is inflicted there are "withdrawals". As we all know , if you keep taking out and not putting in eventually there is nothing to take. So our "account" is depleted. If nothing is done to fix this ...it only gets worse.When both parties won't deposit but only take out. It is over. Account closed.
That is when you give up. When neither of you want to try to work on it. When hugs and kisses are no more. Romantic dinners are gone. When flowers and love notes are no more. You get so you don't give a crap. You feel used and uncared for .You feel depleted.
I think that the love bank is a good illustration. That is what happened in my marriage and with many others. If you look back to that point where the hurt started you will see it.
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well i think i know how you feel smewhat.  i have been married for 20 years yes i said 20 years and i have fallin out of love with my husband as well.  we have been working on things for the past 8 months but for me i don't see that i will ever fall in love again with him.  so i guess we both need to ask ourselves the important question of when do we just move the hell on??  if you can help me with that that would be awesome.  i'll try to help you or offer a listening ear or email.   deli