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No sex with the ex!

Today I wanted to stay and participate in an exercise class after work, so I called my stbx to see if he would pick up our son, and of course he said yes but then he asked, in an annoying flirtatious way, "Is that all you want from me? are you sure you don't want anything else?" so I said, "no thats all" and I also told him that that's all he ever asks from me, "you never ask for anything else". He said, he always asks me out and has always tried to do things with me but I always say no and that I like to shoot him down.

Why would I want to go out with him now? Why would I want to go out on dates? I don't understand this man. He has not said, I love you and I want you back, He has not said, I'm willing to go to therapy and counseling for a million years ( thats truly how long it would take for a man with his issues) to get you back. Nothing along those lines. Not that I even would go back anyway but you would think he'd say it if he really had hopes of me going back.

I don't even think he loves me either. He's just trying to to see if I give in, but i'm not and I wont. I just can't believe him. So, I told him I'm sure he could have his needs take care of. (he has done that before) so what the hell is he asking me for. He says I don't like sex. Its not that I don't like, I just don't want him. I haven't in a long time. He's cheated, lied, been abusive and mean and I honestly can't love or make love or have sex with someone who's treated me that way. He even has the nerve to get mad. Its unbelievable and to think that I have to deal with him for another 12 years its pretty sad.

by asim 775 Posts

Posted on 7/29/2008 10:57 PM

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Tags: sex , annoying husbands , tired

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Comments for "No sex with the ex!" (21) (You must be logged in to answer)

Wow. I woke up for work and thought I'd get some support from you guys before I walked out the door. My story - from last night! We told the kids we were divorcing last night (my step-sons). It was as you would think - really sad. Then he drops them off at their Mom's and calls to tell me he's having a drink before coming back. Whatever. This is what you wanted and you sat there and cried like a baby while I did all the talking and reassured the kids. We're not sleeping in the same room and sure enough in the middle of the night, he comes in wanting to have sex. I told him that is not going to happen. He doesn't say anything, stay and hold me - - he just gets up and goes back to the other room. Nice. It was really hard to do that so thanks for the comments. They helped me as well.

by Diana310 28 Posts
Posted on 8/7/2008 6:34 AM

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elane, elane, elane who needs that? when I got the costco size box of batteries for my birthday. What should I use them for???ummmmmm

by ec 176 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 10:51 PM

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EC! Your story? You mean you haven't shared? I take it you're still being asked too? DO TELL...

Asim...you made the right choice. He's just trying to control you. What a jerk.

by elane 348 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 7:39 PM

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Your too funny

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 12:40 AM

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You were so good at "what you do" he will ALWAYS bug you for it. That's my story and I'm sticking to it =)

by ec 176 Posts
Posted on 8/6/2008 12:38 AM

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Yeah I know, I hate it. I dont play his stupid games. He'll find some one in no time and leave me alone, he might already have and will still bug me forever who knows. As long as i'm married to him he'll try.

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 8/5/2008 8:13 PM

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Games, Games, Games. I agree.

by ec 176 Posts
Posted on 8/5/2008 7:46 PM

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Oh my gosh 2much42long! I did the very same thing for more than 10 years! I slept as far over as I could get. Sometimes I didn't even have covers! I finally moved into the basement a few months ago and, although it isn't very comfortable, I feel much less awkward sleeping down here.

asim, you will find the right guy someday and the desires will come back! Just give it some time.

by RichBrewer 214 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 11:03 PM

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I still sleep right on the edge of the bed. Sometimes I even partially hang off the edge if she's crowding me. And the thing is, it's a king-size waterbed. The edge of it is a padded wooden rail. It's huge, but she sleeps right in the middle. I can't stand it.

I also pretend I'm asleep. It's easier than talking to her.

Well, it's quarter of midnight here now. I guess I'll go do my nightly bed-rail balancing act and pretend to sleep for a few hours. Pray that she's not still awake.

by 2much42long 3031 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 10:45 PM

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Elane, Thats the thing, he's damn good!!!(still don't want him) He just screwed up something else pretty good, our life and marriage. Oh well...

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 10:24 PM

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Yuck. That's all I can say. No way I'd even consider sex with the ex. Was never any good anyhow. Good Girl! Tell him there's not a chance in hell!

by elane 348 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 10:21 PM

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2Much, Thanks for all the kind words. I know I wont fall for that. I haven't wanted him in a long time. A actually forced myself towards the end. I also slept as close to the edge of the bed almost falling off just like someone else posted once. I would also pretend I was already asleep. I was pretty sad. That's the reason I don't understand why he comes to me with that.
I cant imagine how you have lived that way for so many years. No one should have to live that way. Thats not even living. Your a very strong man.

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 10:19 PM

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No, you won't let it happen, Angie. You're too smart for that.

I know you'll find the right guy, and it'll be awesome. The right chemistry makes all the difference.

by 2much42long 3031 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 9:54 PM

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Itmustbeme,
I know your right. I also know its his way of still attempting to manipulate me. Not gonna happen.

Thank's for the promise. I know your right. No rush. (YET) LOL

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 4:34 PM

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Good for you asim. I feel the same way... I want nothing to do with it. Rest assured you will find someone that does make you want to though.... Promise!

by itmustbeme 422 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 3:34 PM

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2much, its pretty weird. I didn't want sex before and now I'm thinking about it even more and wondering If I'll ever find someone that I do want to be with.

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 11:54 AM

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Ugh. Sex with the ex? Yuk. I haven't wanted to touch her in nine years, and I'll never want to touch her again. And we aren't even separated!! In my case, she was never really interested for the first 20 years, and since our estrangement (yeah, that's a word. I looked it up) she hasn't even hinted that she wants anything. I actually think she doesn't like it, but I hope that with the right man she would.

I'm with you, I'm a big fan of sex, just not with her. The thought is simply disgusting. (I could insert a very crude quote from an old movie, but I won't.)

by 2much42long 3031 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 9:49 AM

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He is just playing games with you. Trying to manipulate...been there and done that!

by mtnvly 3539 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 9:28 AM

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Asim,

I am wondering if your stbx is related to mine. He will ask!and ask! the answer will always be no!

OMG!
This is me! I have the same issues!

I don't even think he loves me. He's just trying to to see if I give in, but i'm not and I wont. I just can't believe him. He says I don't like sex. Its not that I don't like, I just don't want him. I haven't in a long time. He is abusive and mean and I honestly can't love or make love or have sex with someone who's treated me that way. My answer to him is use your best friend. ( YOUR HAND)

They are brothers from another mother!

by shock3177 338 Posts
Posted on 7/30/2008 9:19 AM

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blee, not a bad idea! hum!! Someones gonna steal it =(

by asim 775 Posts
Posted on 7/29/2008 11:33 PM

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You wont ever regret making that decision. Call when you start printing the tee shirts, I'll go halfers with you. It right there with, Life is Good. We could make millions.

by blee 96 Posts
Posted on 7/29/2008 11:16 PM

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