he's still cheating 

Thank you lilc, lovestinks, nascar and hottie for the support it has been tough
since this post I filed for divorce trouble is he wants custody and is not going to make it easy but I am hanging in there and have a positive attitude

responding to lilc my professor in my health class once said that you can love only your children unconditionally. It is true.

If he does not love you with every fiber of his being,you deserve a lot better.I know how it feels to hear something like what he said about tiered of takeing care of a sick wife.I have always done labor intensive jobs since i was about 18,well eventually i hurt my back that is when we really started to have a lot of problems.Eventually she really started talking about how she missed having THE EXTRAS.I was still working just not in my field,making a lot less money.After allot of talk about how she was tired of struggling,she kicked me out of my own house,very shortly after she moved a friend in to pay half of bills.One of her reasons for wanting a divorce was she was tired of seeing me unhappy and depressed.Well i was depressed because of my physical condition and what it was doing to my family.I tried to talk to her about it by that time she was already emotionally closed off and would not let me in.So just hang in there,after giving 20yrs of you life you deserve so much more than a cheating husband.Love can be unconditional.God bless!

You have to be strong.  Stand up for yourself because no one is going to do it for you.  You have to remind yourself that you deserve much better than him.  When you start to feel guilty because he is being nice to you, remember all the crap that he's done to you, said to you, how he's treated you in the past... and will do these things again if you don't put a stop to it now.

I have to admit I agree with hottie.  I went whole hearts over my husband, I met him when I was 20 and couldn't leave him alone.  He hasn't changed his high testosterone personality - woman watching.  You are struggling now but you are preparing for the future too!  Just remember you are not the only one, that there are others who have similar situations.

Girl i wish i could tell you some good advice. It is so sad that women love with their whole hearts, and that is why it is so hard for you to let go. Secretly we hope that we will be the one' s to change him, when in reality change has to come from within, and it has to be a choice that they are willing to take. Until then, we only dig a bigger hole for ourselves, and waste valuable time fighting a losing battle. Keep your head up, and remember that you are worthy to be loved!!!