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How to pick up a man, any advice? 

On the way back from the beach this weekend, my Latina single mom friend and I talked in hushed whispers about meeting men, as our girls played with their American Girls in the backseat. (We turned up Disney Channel by the way.)

 

Neither of is going back online this summer. I’ve given JDate a good hard try more than once. She has had her fill of eHarmony.

 

“I’ve started to shop at the Trader Joe’s in your neighborhood,” she confessed.

 

“Why?”

 

“The men are cuter there.”

 

“They are?”

 

We talked about how important it is to turn down a different path once in a while, even if it means shopping in another ‘hood. As Dad’s House explains today, meeting strangers when you’re the single parent of older kids has its challenges. While you might have more alone time, what happens when you spot a hot stranger, and your kids are in the distance? “Hitting on someone cold can be awkward,” Dad’s House says.

 

Neither my girlfriend or I would flirt with a man in the check-out line if our girls were there. But what if we’re alone?

 

I dared my friend to smile at the next cute guy she sees at Trader Joe’s. But then I stopped myself.

 

“Let’s say that you see that he doesn’t have a wedding ring, and then you smile–”

 

“Make sure there’s no white band around his finger, either, because guys take their rings off,” she interrupted.

 

“Okay, what then?” I asked. “You look into his cart and say, ‘Nice watermelon?‘ ”

 

Seriously: Have you taken another path this week? Have you gone off your usual, daily route?

 

Have you done something bold, and out-of-the-ordinary, like talk to a cute stranger without a wedding band?

by Rachel-Sarah  179 Posts 

Posted on 7/25/2008 2:53 PM
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Tags: dating , pick ups , relationship , grocery store ,
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Comments for "How to pick up a man, any advice?"  (6) (You must be logged in to answer)




Oh, and about things in carts...

If in a grocery store, pick out something and ask how they like that item. For example, if you see someone has a new flavor of yogurt (or whatever) and it is something you haven't tried, ask if they have tried that yet and what they think about it. If it is something that you have tried, simply state/joke about, "gee, seeing that made me really think about going back and getting some because I like it. Have you tried it?".

I'm a master at that one with being a cashier (I do not know how I don't blow all my money at the end of the night after all the cravings I get!) and there is so much that can be said about what's in a cart without something sounding as corny as "nice mellons".

If you are in a place stereotypically more frequented by men than women ('ya know, like hardware stores), ask for their opinion on an item and see how they respond.

Heck...I left a guy friends' phone number on a table for the waitress when we left and a little note to say that he thought she was attractive. Yeah, I can be very bold at times...he made me promise that I would NEVER do that again.

The real key is to smile...genuinely smile.

For some reason, a smile is seen as flirting a heck of a lot, especially if the one on the receiving end really is single and possibly looking.

And it takes no words...
by Aimless   1058 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:23 PM
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wow! what good children! lol
by asim   775 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:16 PM
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Hmmm.  No.  Not this week, although I did sign up to volunteer for Big Brothers/Big Sisters this fall.  Probably not quite what you were driving at, though.  :-)

It's kind of hard to pick up cute strangers when you are still living in the same house with your STBX (as I am).  I'll let you know what happens after August 6, the big move out day....
by duchick   619 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:14 PM
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I wouldn't dare. But I spot cute guys and their watermelons all the time. lol
by asim   775 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:14 PM
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I think some of it depends on the type of person you are. I'm a very social person & in my line of work at my part-time job, I'm a cashier, so I'm naturally making small talk & smiling to married/non-married/young/old people, even children around the same age as my kids.

If your children see you being social from an early age, the probably would not even notice that you were "flirting". Heck, in my situation, I don't like to take my kids shopping with me because they are SO social that absolutely NOBODY is safe from them saying hello - especially the cashiers. I feel that with my personality, & the social tendencies of my children, that flirting will be perceived more along the lines of actually just being social.

I even have protested & honestly believe that if saying "please", "thank you", being social & polite is flirting, then so be it. Then I'm a natural flirt & cannot stop...

I will never forget when I ordered a drink at a bowling alley and said "please" at the end. The bartender made a joke & then said, "well, just because you said 'please'...". He & I became friends, but if he took my smile and politeness as flirting, then I guess I don't know how NOT to flirt. After a while he & I did flirt/trade jokes back & forth when ever I was there & ordered a drink, but it never got out of hand.

People that know me will attest that I'm 1 of the 1st to just introduce myself to people at gatherings, & if I'm in a store & find something interesting in someone's cart, I probably will mention it. For me it is natural - I'm not a in-your-face loudmouth or anything, but I'm social, so at this point, I do not find anything wrong with talking to a new man when I get to that point around my children. If they have a problem with it, then I would stop being so social though, because they come 1st.

Heck, I have a friend whose 14 year old actually went up to a guy and told him that his mom thought he was cute. The son got the guy to go & give her his #!!!
by Aimless   1058 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:13 PM
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Hey, I just became a cute stranger without a wedding band!  Ok, maybe just a little stranger without a wedding band, but still, any ladies who want to practice their  pick up skills before they go play in the big leagues, I'm here for ya!  ;) 

Wow!  The things I'll do to help this community!  I am such a giver...

Seriously though, I think Rachel makes a good point.  Get out there!  Stretch yourself, and have fun.  You might want to go slower than addressing his watermelons immediately though...
by Robert-Boyd   5134 Posts
Posted on 7/25/2008 3:07 PM
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