Just to vent 

Ok, so I have my ups and downs each day and throughout the day.  I really do not know how a counselor could help me. I have so many feelings going on inside me, I have no clue how to unravel them to deal with each and every aspect (after reading this entry, you will see I am all over the place. I feel like I have more personalities than Sybil, :)  ).

I look back at what took place so quickly and violently. I want to know why? I know in reality I will never understand the why. I never wanted to be in this situation, I don't want to go through a divorce. Who does? But yet why would I stay with somebody who drinks everyday, does drugs, has sexual addictions (internet pornography), cheats and lies. I am better than that. I am worth a million dollars. He isn't even worth a dollar to be with somebody like me.

How stupid is it to get involved in another relationship when you are married to somebody else?  It doesnt make your spouse look stupid, it makes you look stupid it shows everyone including your lover, that you can never be trusted. There is no solid foundation for a relationship there. Especially if your lover is also married, wow!!  ha ha ha, All I can say is have fun with that!!   You are ready to just drop everything that has been built up over the years, because some wh*re is willing to screw you in your work van over your lunch break?  When the smoke disappears out of the air, the lights are shut off and the mirrors are put away. You have the same problems that you couldnt deal with in the first place. It will slap you in the face alot quicker this time. Guess what, whether I know about it or not. I am going to be roflmao. Karma is a beotch isnt she?

The other question I would like to know, is if this person was really "frosting your cupcake" so well..... why the need to still jack off to internet pornography every single day?

I am glad to be rid of this sick individual, I am no longer "married" to. I am only legally married on paper to and thank god that wont be for much longer!!

In the long run, I am going to be soo much better off. I know I am better off now.