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Need advice about separation 

My husband decided we need to separate. He says the marriage is over, he is done. Divorce is sometime down the line. We own a house together. He told me it is best if I move out, move in with my mom, which is 30 minutes closer to where I work. He will stay in the house and pay all the bills, house included. He said when the market is right we will sell the house and split everything half and half. He said he does not want any mean attorneys to damage what he calls an easy divorce. Here is my concern: I know I own half the house and everything in it, but can moving out look bad or hurt me in the furture should this divorce turn sour. I don't want it used against me, especially since I really didn't want to move out or get a divorce. There is no way I can afford the house, bills, and commute gas, so I have to leave. Help, I need advice.
by DAnnM  5 Posts 

Posted on 7/16/2008 9:24 PM
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Comments for "Need advice about separation"  (4) (You must be logged in to answer)

you are in CA, you can leave and it won't affect your right to the equity in the home.

Just make sure before you leave the two of you sit down with the divorce packet you can get from the local court house, and possibly a paralegal to help you understand it all - and in it include your own separation agreement written up to reflect he will take control of all bills as pertains to the home and that the house will be put up for sale and you will split the assets 50/50 etc & so on- that way, if he doesn't honor it - you have legal recourse.

After you have your initial divorce papers filed, including your agreed separation addendum - you move.

there - you just consulted a California divorce attorney =)
by spaznskitz   11339 Posts
Posted on 7/17/2008 1:18 AM

Sorry, One more thing. If he hasn't already done it. You are entitled to take half of all savings and put it in an acct. in your name only. Do it tomorrow just in case he hasn't already beat you to it. Educate yourself about divorce in your state.
good luck
by trisha9054   4890 Posts
Posted on 7/16/2008 10:39 PM

You need to see an atty. as soon as possible. You need to see an atty. who has only your interest to look out for. You need copies of all financial records. Bank statements, 401k's, and tax returns. Keep these away from the house and don't let him know you are getting them. Call your mortgage company and get the balance on your loan.
Don't agree to leave the house until you talk to your atty. You are not in any danger so wait to make the correct choices to protect yourself. Just because you get an atty. doesn't mean the divorce has to get ugly. Mine was an easy divorce and we both had attys. It only gets ugly if one of you starts trying to hide assets.
by trisha9054   4890 Posts
Posted on 7/16/2008 10:31 PM

I am not an attorney, but most States don't look at abandonment of the house, as acquiescing your rights or position in the assets. If there is a difficult situation at home, then leaving by either party is in the best interest for both your safety and mental health. I still would seek legal advice and get some type of current financial assessment of both of you. If you have any equity in your house, he could get a home equity loan and spend the money...making it harder for you to recover any money at the time of sell. I have seen spouses forge signature of the other person and do this. So seek legal counsel, it concerns me when he says he does not want you to lawyer up. See if there is a lawyer that you both know and try to get a separation agreement drawn up so you know where you stand at all time. If I forgot to say it...get a LAWYER and try to be friends through this.
by Flyby   35 Posts
Posted on 7/16/2008 9:51 PM

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