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COMPREHENSIVE PARENTING PLAN SAMPLE 

I was perusing the site, and found that there are a lot of questions about parenting plans and how to word custody agreements - but not so that I could find an actual document you could refer to, copy and change to reflect your needs specific to your situation.

 

So, I'm sharing my standard one that I start out with my clients with you. Please feel free to copy it, edit it for your needs, use it as an addendum to your divorce agreement, compare it to what you have now to help fill holes.

 

and feel free to ask me any questions

 

 

FIXED CUSTODY AND PERMANENT PARENTING PLAN

 


1. That joint legal responsibility and joint physical responsibility for said children, John Doe and Jane Doe, be ordered. That natural Parents Mr. John Doe and Ms. Jane Doe shall share and participate in the joint legal responsibility and joint physical responsibility for said biological children. That Parents shall share custody of said children as set forth below:

2. That said children shall reside with [Mother / Father] during months school is in session and said school aged children attend school. That said children shall reside with [Mother / Father] during summer vacation months. That [Mother / Father] shall have parenting time set forth from Friday when school releases said children to Sunday at 8PM, or Monday at the hour school begins, by his choice, every other weekend while school is in session. Parent commencing his/her custodial period is to provide and/or pay for transportation for said children which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult. Parent exercising parenting time shall provide and/or pay for transportation for said children during parenting time periods, which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult. The pick-up and drop-off location for said children shall be at an agreed upon or court appointed public place, or in the school office of said children. Should [Mother / Father] exercise any parenting time during [Mother / Father]’s custodial summer period, [Mother / Father] shall provide and/or pay for transportation for said children which she may delegate to a responsible adult.

3. That school attendance for said children of school age be MANDATORY. That each of said school aged children shall attend school daily, participate fully in school assignments and activities, and shall complete and turn in all assigned homework on time. That [Mother / Father] shall be notified should said children miss more than two (2), days of school for any reason. That should said school aged children NOT attend school regularly, said children shall reside with [Mother / Father] during months school is in session and reside with [Mother / Father] during summer vacation months.

 

4.That it is expressly understood and agreed by both parents that children be allowed to participate in extra-curricular activities as related to school, including but not limited to sports, music, field trips etc. Any request to participate in extra curricular activities will be addressed in writing, with the other parent. That children will not be denied these activities due to parenting time conflicts, and all fees, equipment and expenses for these activities will be shared equally by both parents.

5. That the attached Holiday and Vacation schedule be ordered. That Parent receiving said children for their summer vacation, special days or holidays shall provide and/or pay for transportation for said children which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult. The pick-up and drop off location for said children shall be at an agreed upon or court appointed public place, or in the school office of said children.
CONFLICTS CLAUSE: Special days and Holidays shall prevail over regular periods of custody.

6.That Mother and Father both shall provide any and all available health care coverage for said children either through employment or any other program offered to him/her at reasonable or no cost. That Parents shall have a reduction of Child Support according to state guidelines on providing said medical coverage. That the custodial Parent shall cooperate fully and completely with the other Parent in allowing said children to take full advantage of available regular, preventive and emergency care coverage.

7. That the Parent with whom said children are staying shall be responsible for daily care and shall make necessary decisions regarding education of said children, (academic pursuits at school, signing of report cards, after-school activities in which he/she participates, etc.), cultural and artistic training, non-emergency health treatment. That all major medical decisions (including dental, psychiatric, body piercing or other alterations), and general welfare (acquisition of passport, changing of name, signing of contracts on behalf of said children, signing of driver's license, etc.), shall be made by the prior written consent of both parties or further order of the Court.

8. That the Parents shall not make demands of the other Parent, or make promises to said children or others, concerning the financial contribution of the other Parent toward the purchase of any gifts, activities, events or trips, the paying of any fees or of cash for any necessary or extra items, or donations of money or services on the part of the other Parent without the advance written consent of said Parent. That the parties shall not deny parenting or custodial rights due to a conflict regarding said financial contribution.

9. That the Parent who has physical custodial/ parenting time possession of said children pursuant to this Order during any school, extra-curricular, religious, family or other function will have sole physical possession and control of said children at said event.

10. That each Parent shall permit and encourage communication by the other Parent with ALL doctors, clinics, school nurses, counselors, and other healthcare providers regarding the health and welfare of said children.

11. That each party shall see that ALL state, legal, medical, surgical, dental, psychiatric, psychological, counseling, test, criminal and school records for said children are available and accessible to both parties. That [Mother / Father] shall be provided with copies of the Birth Certificates, Social Security cards, and Driver’s Licenses of each of said children.

 

12. That there will be no smoking in the presence of the children, in the home or vehicle and every effort will be made to keep them from exposure to second hand smoke.

13. That each Parent shall provide advance notification to the other Parent about proposed and forthcoming medical care, and each Parent shall notify the other Parent within twelve (12), hours of any illness or accident requiring medical attention or any medical emergency involving said children, and within two (2) hours of any life threatening illness or accident. That each Parent shall immediately notify the other in the event of the death of said children.

14. That it is expressly understood the enumerated times each Parent shall be with, and responsible for care of said children are NOT subject to modifications by mutual agreement unless in writing, dated, signed and witnessed, and each Parent shall retain a copy. That said children are to receive the MAXIMUM benefit to be derived from the love, care and attention of both Parents.

15. That the primary residence of said children shall not be moved outside a radius of one and a half (1 1/2), hour’s driving time from the residence of [Mother / Father] without prior permission of [Mother / Father], and of the Court.

16. That each party shall be allowed to exercise reasonable telephonic communication with said children including, but not limited to, four (4), thirty-minute telephone calls per week. The parties are restrained and enjoined from initiating, or allowing ANY other person to initiate telephonic communication to the home of the other Parent between the hours of 11PM and 7AM except in cases of emergency regarding the immediate health and welfare of said children specifically. The Parents, spouse, said children or other children, relatives, friends, live-in mates/roommates of either party, are restrained from unreasonably interfering with the rights to privacy of said children during such telephone conversations, or from listening on an extension telephone. In order to facilitate telephone contact between the parties and their children, all parties are ordered to initiate and assist their children in immediately returning phone messages attempting telephone contact with their children, from the other Parent. If at all possible, said children shall be allowed to listen to recorded messages from the other Parent.

17. That in the event the Parent returning said children from a court ordered parenting time or custodial period, finds that the Parent receiving said children is not at the designated child return location, at the court ordered child return time, then the Parent returning said children shall wait at least twenty (20), minutes past the court ordered return time of said children, before leaving, unless prior arrangements for late arrival have been made. Also, before leaving, the Parent returning said children shall leave a large note, in plain sight, on the other Parent's front door, stating that he/she was at the appointed location, the time he/she arrived, and the time he/she departed. Said note shall contain the signature of the Parent returning said children, and the signature, if possible, of at least one (1), adult witness. Parent returning said children shall leave the premises immediately upon delivery of said note, and shall keep a copy as evidence. The tardy Parent that was to receive said children, is then ordered to provide and/or pay for return transportation of said children for this parenting time or custodial period only, which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult.

18. That in the event the Parent receiving said children for a court ordered parenting time or custodial period, finds that the Parent delivering said children is not at the designated child delivery location, at the court ordered delivery time, then the Parent receiving said children shall wait twenty (20), minutes past the court ordered delivery time of said children, before leaving, unless prior arrangements for late arrival have been made. Also, before leaving, the Parent receiving said children shall leave a large note, in plain sight, on the other Parent’s front door if pick-up is near the residence of the other Parent, stating that he/she was at the appointed location, the time he/she arrived, and the time he/she departed. Said note shall contain the signature of the receiving Parent, and the signature, if possible, of at least one (1), adult witness. Receiving Parent shall leave the premises immediately upon delivery of said note, and shall keep a copy of said note as evidence. The tardy Parent that was to deliver said children is then ordered to provide and/or pay for the transportation of said children for this parenting time or custodial period only, which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult.

19. If there is a substantial distance involved in delivering or receiving said children, and despite the use of a public location for pick-up and delivery of said children, each Parent shall make a complete attempt to reach the other Parent by telephone, or by going to the residence of the other Parent after the twenty (20), minute waiting period in an attempt to complete pick-up and delivery of said children if the Parent does not arrive at the child pick-up or delivery location.

20. That the Name, Address, and telephone number of the public meeting location near the residence of [Mother / Father] is:


____________________________________________________

That the Name, Address, and telephone number of the public meeting location near the residence of Mother is:


____________________________________________________

21. That Petitioner shall exercise the Federal and State dependency tax deductions with reference to said children as long as Petitioner is providing more than fifty percent (50%), of support of said children. Should Respondent begin earning a provable wage, and begin providing fifty percent (50%), or more of the support of said children, the Federal and State dependency tax deductions shall be split between the Parents; one Parent taking the state deduction one year while the other Parent takes the Federal deduction that same year, and reversing the following year.

22. That in the event either Parent intends to leave said children for a period of twelve (12) hours or longer, that Parent shall first offer the other Parent an opportunity for additional time with said children before making other arrangements for the temporary care of said children. Parent receiving extra time with said children will provide and/or pay for transportation of said children, which he/she may delegate to a responsible adult. Parent leaving said children with the other Parent or with a temporary child care provider, shall notify that Parent of the duration of the parenting time or temporary care of said children by other persons.

23. That it be understood partial or reduced parenting time is more beneficial to said children than no parenting time. Should valid reason occur, such that one Parent is not able to exercise his/her entire parenting/vacation time or custodial period with said children, make-up time shall be allowed and agreed upon in writing, should the Parent request said reduction and make-up time in writing. That both Parents shall cooperate in supplying said children with the full advantage of time with the other Parent.

24. That each party shall provide the other party with the telephone number and address at which said children reside, and shall notify and provide the other party in advance, or within twenty-four (24) hours, of any changes of address and/or telephone number for said children. That each party shall provide the other party with the address and telephone numbers of at least three (3), emergency or alternate contact persons.

25. That each party shall provide the name, address and telephone number of the daycare, preschool or school, church or contact person for any activity or program, which said children attend.

26. That each party shall keep the other party informed of the names of all non-related persons residing at or visiting the residence of said children for a period of more one (1), week. It is expressly understood by both parents that, in the best interest of the children, there will be no overnight guests of the opposite sex unless related by blood or marriage during their respective parenting times.

27. That each party shall keep the other party fully and promptly informed of his/her current residence address, home telephone number, and the name, address and telephone number of employer(s), and shall notify the other party in advance, or within twenty-four (24) hours, of any change of address or telephone number, change of employment, or change of address and telephone number of employer(s).

28. That each party shall be prohibited and enjoined from contacting the employer(s) of the other party for any reason whatsoever. That each party shall not ask, encourage or allow ANY other person to contact the employer(s) of the other party. All contact with the other party shall be limited during hours of employment to emergency contact regarding the immediate care of, or urgent health and welfare of said children.

29. That the Parents shall provide the address and telephone number for contacting said children during ANY trip lasting two (2) days or more, and will notify the other Parent as to the duration of said trip. Parent shall initiate and facilitate telephone communication between said children and the other Parent during such trips. That whenever said children will be away from either Parent's home for a period of two (2) days or more without a Parent, that Parent shall provide the name, address and telephone number of the person said children are visiting.

30. That all schools that said children attend other than local public school shall be approved by the Parents jointly. In the event the Parents cannot agree to the selection of any other school, said children shall attend the local public school, or an appropriate alternative program provided, by the public school system.

31. That for the benefit and continuity of the education and learning of said children, each Parent shall cooperate, follow through, and assist said children with his/her local educational programs. Should said children be required to attend school during summer vacation, said children shall attend school at the location of the custodial Parent.

32. That each Parent shall provide the other Parent promptly upon being requested to do so, with information concerning the well-being of said children including, but not limited to; weekly school attendance reports, reports concerning completion of homework, copies of report cards, school meeting notices, vacation schedules, class programs, requests for conferences, results of diagnostic tests, notices of activities involving said children, samples of school work, order forms for school pictures, communications from health care providers; the names, addresses and telephone numbers of all schools, preschools, regular day care providers, all health care providers, counselors, church or other activity supervisors, and friends, schoolmates and relatives, unless specifically prohibited to do so by any friend, schoolmate or relative, for said children.

33. That except for brief vacations lasting no more than two (2), weeks each Parent shall be restrained from removing said children from the state of residence. If said children are to be removed from the state of residence for purposes of vacation or travel, the other Parent shall be notified at least two (2) weeks in advance. Should said children be moved temporarily from the state of residence for purposes of travel to exceed a period of two (2) weeks, prior written consent must be obtained from the other Parent, and said Parent shall have the option of requiring the consent of the Court.

34. That each party shall NOT deny ANY child parenting time with the other Parent because that child or other of said children are busy, not available, are being punished, are suffering an illness, or refuse to go on the scheduled parenting time or custodial period. The receiving Parent shall have the OPTION of verifying the illness of said children in person or by telephone, and shall have the option of caring for said sick children unless said sick children are under the care of a physician for serious illness, or are taking prescription medication for serious illness. Parent shall provide telephone numbers for contacting the physician currently caring for said sick children, or produce proof that said children are taking prescription medication, for verification of illness. Make up time in whole or part shall be provided to said Parent should Parent be unable to exercise the court ordered parenting time or custodial period.

35. That each Parent shall allow said children to have liberal parenting times with his/her Grandparents, maternal and paternal.

36. That the Step-Parents of said children shall have the right to transport said children for parenting times and custodial periods, school, activities or trips, or to provide any other transportation required in the parenting and custodial care of said children. That Step-Parents shall have the right to share information with any school official or other authority or agency, physician, counselor, psychiatrist/psychologist, health care professional, activity supervisor, friend, relative or any other person concerned with the health and well-being of said children for the purposes of providing said children with proper care and supervision. That Step-Parents shall have the right to seek regular and emergency medical care for said children under the guidelines of this Order, and to consent to such care should the need arise, and a custodial Parent is not available to consent to such care. The Step-Parents shall have the right to touch, hold and carry, dress, feed, diaper, bathe, make purchases for, administer necessary medications to, and discipline said children within the guidelines of this Order, with the implied consent of the Parent residing in that home. That Step-Parents shall have the right to receive telephonic and written communication from said children without interference from any person. That Step-Parents shall NOT administer corporal punishment, or physically strike said children for any reason whatsoever.

37. That corporal punishment of said minor children, IF ANY AT ALL, be administered only by the natural Mother or the natural Father. Both parties are restrained from allowing ANY other person to administer corporal punishment to said minor children.

38. That Petitioner and Respondent are restrained and enjoined from harassing, annoying, striking with hand or object, threatening, assaulting, using verbally abusive language, or molesting the other Parent or Step-Parent in any manner whatsoever in an attempt to alarm, coerce, anger, or frighten either party, either in the presence of said children, during telephonic communication between said Parents or Step-Parent, or between a Parent and said children, by written word, or at ANY other time. The Parents are restrained and enjoined from encouraging or engaging ANY other person to harass, annoy, strike with hand or object, threaten, assault, verbally abuse or molest the other Parent or Step-Parent, in an attempt to alarm, coerce, anger, or frighten either party in any manner or at any time whatsoever. The Parents are restrained from making negative statements about the other Parent or Step-Parent in the presence of said children, and shall not allow ANY other person to make negative statements about the other Parent or Step-Parent in the presence of said children. The Parents shall not use said children or any other person except a designated messenger, to deliver any messages to the other party. The Parents are restrained and enjoined from attempting to coerce said children into false and negative beliefs about, negative or abusive behavior toward, or attempt to alienate said children from, Parent or Step-Parent, and shall not attempt to foster a lack of love or care for the other Parent or Step-Parent in any way whatsoever.

39. The Petitioner and Respondent are enjoined from interfering in any way with the other Parent’s court ordered parenting time or custodial period, and from interfering with legal access of said Parent or Step-Parent to said children.

40. That the Petitioner and Respondent shall not in any manner, or for any reason whatsoever, suggest or demand that the other party should not exercise all or a partial portion of his/her court ordered parenting time or custodial period with said children.

41. That the parties shall not plan or arrange any event or opportunity whatsoever during the other Parent’s scheduled parenting time, nor shall either party tell said children of any event or opportunity which is scheduled or could be scheduled for said children during the other Parent’s parenting time or custodial period. That the parties shall not allow or attempt to persuade said children to ask for or demand an alternate or reduced parenting time or custodial period for the purposes of attending any other event, in the case where said children are already aware of said event or opportunity.

42. That parenting time with said children shall take into consideration the employment and expanded age-appropriate activities of said children over the age of fifteen (15).

43. That the Petitioner and Respondent shall not refuse to surrender said children to the other party or designated responsible adult promptly at the beginning of each of the party’s parenting time, or custodial period. That primary custodial Parent shall, upon delivery of said children to the other Parent, promptly and simultaneously provide each child with an amount of clothing appropriate to the duration of the visit, including but not limited to shirts, pants or shorts, socks, shoes, underwear, sleepwear and swimwear. Said clothing shall be seasonally appropriate, and of the correct sizes, clean and in good repair. Parent shall also supply any prescription glasses, prescription or over-the-counter medication, and seasonally appropriate hat, coat and gloves. Belongings of said children shall be delivered in an appropriate container for travel. Parent shall also promptly and simultaneously provide any school books, papers or homework assignments due the following school period.

44. That the party returning said children from a scheduled vacation, parenting time, or custodial period shall also promptly and simultaneously return ALL belongings, clothing, toys, prescription glasses, prescription or over-the-counter medication or empty containers thereof, suitcase or carrying container, school books, papers, homework assignments, or ANY other item with which said children arrived.

45. That Petitioner and Respondent are prohibited and enjoined from going to the residence of the other party at any time or for any purpose other than the specific purposes set forth in this Order of this Court, unless accompanied by police or other court appointed escort, or unless specifically invited to do so by the other party or the legally married spouse of said party in writing, for purposes pertaining only to the exchange of said children or belongings of said children, or in the case of an emergency regarding said children. That Petitioner and Respondent shall leave the area of the residence of the other party promptly upon completing any business pertaining to the visit, and shall keep a copy of said invitation signed and dated by both parties.

46. That Petitioner and Respondent are prohibited and enjoined from entering the residence of the other party unless issued specific written invitation to do so by that party or his/her legally married spouse. That Petitioner and Respondent, upon entering the home of the other party, shall remain within the area indicated by said residing parties. That Petitioner and Respondent shall not enter the home of either party at the invitation of any child, friend, relative, roommate/live-in mate, neighbor, or baby-sitter. That upon leaving the residence area, both Parents shall retain a copy of said written invitation signed and dated by both parties.

47. That each party, upon receipt of mail or packages addressed to said children from the other Parent, Step-Parent, or relative of the other Parent, shall see to it that such mail or packages are given unopened to said children, or read to and opened for said children who are unable to do so. That said children shall be allowed to retain possession of any appropriate gifts given or sent by the other Parent, Step-parent or relative of the other Parent.

48. That both Parents shall cooperate fully in any reunification or other counseling/therapy sessions or programs which said children attend, and shall be prompt in transporting said children to and from any local appointments for said counseling/therapy.

49. That in the event of the death of any of said children, all decisions concerning the appropriate care of said children, and concerning the estate of said children shall be made by both Parents jointly. That in the event said children maintain a vegetative state, the decisions concerning organ donation, and the care and/or termination of said vegetative state shall be made by both Parents jointly.

50. That in the event of illness, accident, or death in the immediate family, additional parenting time shall be allowed so that the children may see the family member upon request or attend the funeral of the deceased family member. "Immediate Family" shall be defined as follows: (define 'immediate family' here).

 

51. In the event of the death of either Parent, full legal and physical custody of said children shall be retained by the surviving Parent.

52. Father’s emergency contact persons:

1.____________________________________________________

2.____________________________________________________

3.____________________________________________________



Mother’s emergency contact persons:

1.____________________________________________________

2.____________________________________________________

3.____________________________________________________



SOLVING DISPUTES

1. That the costs of mediation/arbitration SHALL be allocated between the parties as determined by the arbitrator.

2. The dispute resolution process shall be commenced by notifying the other party by written request.

3. In the dispute resolution process:

a) Preference shall be given to carrying out this Parenting Plan.

 

b) Unless an emergency exists, the parents shall use the designated process to resolve disputes relating to implementation of the plan, except those related to financial support.

 

c) A written record shall be prepared of any decision reached in arbitration and shall be provided to each party.

 

d) The parties have the right of Appeal from the dispute resolution process to the superior court.

e) Reasonable attorney’s fees SHALL be assessed against an appealing party who does not substantially better his/her position in the Appeal process.


Holiday and Vacation Schedule

1. That Parents shall have parenting time with said children set forth for the entire Christmas/New Year Vacation in alternating years, from the time school releases said children for said Vacation, ending the day before the next school session begins, at 8PM. Parent exercising his/her parenting time shall have the option of, and sole discretion in, sharing any portion of said Vacation time with the other Parent, to be agreed upon in writing. [Mother / Father] shall exercise, or make the decision to share said Vacation parenting time beginning in 20XX.

2.That Parents shall exercise parenting time with said children set forth for the entire Thanksgiving Holiday Vacation in alternating years from the time school releases said children for said Vacation, to the following Sunday at 8PM. [Mother / Father] shall exercise said parenting time beginning in 20XX.

3. That Parents shall alternate by year, parenting time with said children set forth for the entire Spring Break Vacation OR, shall split Spring Break Vacation time equally between them in any given year at the sole discretion of the Parent exercising his/her time, to be agreed upon in writing, beginning when school releases said children for said Vacation, ending the day before school begins again, at 8PM. [Mother / Father] shall exercise, or make the decision to share said parenting time beginning in 20XX.

4. That the Parents shall have the right to parenting time during each of the following Holidays and Special Days in alternating years: said children’s Birthdays or appropriate substitute weekend day, Easter vacation, Memorial Day weekend, Fourth of July holiday weekend, Labor Day weekend, Halloween weekend. [Mother / Father] shall exercise parenting time during the Easter vacation, Mother for Memorial Day weekend, Father for Fourth of July, Mother for Labor Day, Father for Halloween night in 20XX, and Parents shall alternate these times during the following year of 20XX.

5. That Parents shall have the right to exercise parenting time with said children during all Religious Holy Days, pertaining to their particular Religion, not already mentioned in this Order.

6. That each Parent shall have the right to exercise parenting time with said children on the day of, or appropriate substitute weekend day for, said Parent’s birthday, and on Father’s and Mother’s Day respectively.

7. (see # 11, 12 of the ‘Fixed Custody and Parenting Time Schedule’ attached hereto for additional information concerning transportation and pick-up/delivery of said children).

8. That Maternal and Paternal Grandparents shall exercise visitation time with said children on Grandparent’s day in alternating years. Maternal Grandparents shall begin in 20XX.



_____________________________________
Petitioners' signature

Date: ________________________________



_____________________________________
Respondent’s signature

Date: ________________________________



Subscribed and sworn to before me on _____________ , 20____

by spaznskitz  7745 Posts 

Posted on 7/15/2008 2:28 AM
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Tags: parenting plan , co-parenting , custody agreement , custody ,
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Comments for "COMPREHENSIVE PARENTING PLAN SAMPLE"  (22) (You must be logged in to answer)




Hi Spaz -

There is a special place in heaven for you...  

Thanks for being you.  You bring safety, security and logic to a place that might tend to have none of those attributes.

We are all grateful for your presence and accepting of your gifts.

Best -
Lisa
by Lisa Cannon   
Posted on 10/13/2009 1:07 AM
0





And another helpful thing from our spaz..lol. This is for the newcomers to the site...Hope it helps!
by mtnvly   3539 Posts
Posted on 9/3/2009 9:32 PM
0





Thanks spaz.... I was just getting ready to ask for it LOL
by Kitty7470   2621 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2009 6:20 PM
0





figured I'd bring this puppy out from the blog basement....
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 1/9/2009 6:15 PM
0





I will be the case study for the Comprehensive Parenting Plan.

Today I had to go back to court ex-parte regarding kids pick up/drop off arrangements. STBX claims that I'm bi-polar, controlling, inflexible, and she's in fear of her life from my alleged itimidation tactics. She also wants our 14 year old daughter to have a say on her visitation schedule with dad (no facts, all drama.

STBX  wants kids to be picked up/drop off at the local police department due to my calling the police on a few occassion to assist me with the OSC Court Order and to deal with her gamesmanship.  My attorney and I requested another neutral location. Bottom-line I've been ordered to now pick up and drop off the kids at the police station until we go back to mediation. My 15 year old daughter will also be evaluated.

Lets see...an active and loving dad that is regularly involved in his kids life from school activities, parent teacher meetings, open house attendee, sporting events, church with kids, homework, and fun now has to pick up our kids from the police station and has been defaulted to a 24% of the time dad??! It seem like justice is really blind.

STBX does not work, gets $7k a month in CS and alimony and continues to manipulate the Court Order over and over and I get the court spanking again.  Go figure!

My advice to all that are going through a divorce, make sure you have a top notch parenting and gameplan (e.g. spez's recommended parenting plan) before mediation and final judgement. Based on my experience, it's difficult to turn the clock back to your favor, especially if you have an advesarial relationship with your stbx that has the time and luxury to plot and scheme.

For the first time, I actually felt like giving up and granting my stbx full custody with the kids and walking away from it all. I will snap out of it, but this process is very frustrating, especially with my and stbx's diferent profiles.
by djblives   23 Posts
Posted on 7/23/2008 4:56 PM
0





so you don't have a custody agreement at all entered into the court? and are you positive the lawyers didn't submit the separation agreement as an agreed order after you signed it?

You need to double check with your attorney and make sure exactly what is stipulated that is legally enforceable by the court.

If the visiation you have set up is not entered into some formal document with the court, you are going to have to go back to court and get it - and with that ask for a change of how it is now, but if he lives in the same school district - it is doubtful the judge will force a change of what is "status quo" - he is perfectly capable of taking the child to school. If he isn't in the same school district, you will be able to change it.
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/17/2008 12:20 AM
0





hi spaz! i like it all but the part where the summer months come in.my ex only gets her maybe 3or4 days long enough to take her to the beach and thats it,besides he gets her two nights a week and everyother weekend.we split holidays ,birthdays,mothers,dad day.i want to change the two nights aweek during school time,he can still get her but not stay the night during school.our child lives with me the mom.i have primary custody and he has secondary custody ,shared joint custody.all of this was put into our sepration papers in the lawyers office.it wasnt done in front of a judge.but me and my ex signed it.than when our divorce came around,it wasnt put in the divorce.it was a plain divorce.so are the separtion papers we signed can my ex do anything about the two nights.are the papers still good even if they wasnt in the divorce.
by shy   90 Posts
Posted on 7/17/2008 12:09 AM
0





hi spaz! i like it all but the part where the summer months come in.my ex only gets her maybe 3or4 days long enough to take her to the beach and thats it,besides he gets her two nights a week and everyother weekend.we split holidays ,birthdays,mothers,dad day.i want to change the two nights aweek during school time,he can still get her but not stay the night during school.our child lives with me the mom.i have primary custody and he has secondary custody ,shared joint custody.all of this was put into our sepration papers in the lawyers office.it wasnt done in front of a judge.but me and my ex signed it.than when our divorce came around,it wasnt put in the divorce.it was a plain divorce.so are the separtion papers we signed can my ex do anything about the two nights.are the papers still good even if they wasnt in the divorce.
by shy   90 Posts
Posted on 7/17/2008 12:09 AM
0





i have child custody mediation with my husband on july 21.  i will review this over and over before i go.
by sunshine71   16 Posts
Posted on 7/16/2008 3:10 PM
0





I didn't even know google docs exisited...

learn something new everyday...

gotta love the internet...
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 7:24 PM
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Thanks Spaz!!! How did you know I am running out of reading materials?

 

Thanks Jackson for putting it in Google Doc!!!

by Alison   116 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 6:20 PM
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hehe if I had a dime for every "holy shit" or "is there a clause for the kitchen sink in there?" I've heard....

if anyone thinks I missed anything - please let me know LOL
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 5:42 PM
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Yes Dyben....... .read the posts in here . She is covering everyones but because spaz has seen it all. Sure would iron out a lot of hot spots in a lot of divorces!!
Thanks Spaznskits!
by mtnvly   3539 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 5:23 PM
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just bumping this puppy up so people know it is here =)
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 2:43 PM
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DJ - you, are the perfect example of why I posted this - it is about $1500 worth of "my time" but it is worth every penny of it to give away if it helps someone in your exact situation.

I'm gald you only have a temp order, and you can still work to demand your rights. If you go to the google document jackson did of this (I gotta find out how to do that) you can print it a lot easier.

I feel for you, and I hope you can get the parenting justice you deserve.

btw - what she is doing is called "parental alienation" might want to read up on it.
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 1:48 PM
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-As a result of missed school work and test, my daughter failed 3 key tests and would not follow up on her assign due to her newly found attitude. her gpa eroded from 3.5 to a 2.3. -stbx does not inform me of medical appts for kids for new doctors - she did not issue me her new home address until 15 days after she move out of the house and did not issue me her new home phone number until 6 weeks after she moved out. - last Sunday, while preparing the kids for church (by the way I'm no saint) my 9 year old daughter informed me she does not want to do homework while over my house. She called her mom and my stbx said she does not have to do homework while she is w/ dad. "All homework will be completed w/ mom" My daughter started to cry and said she wanted to go back "home" with mom. My stbx said was going to call the police and also come over to get our youngest daughter. The police did visit and informed my stbx that according to the court order that my kids have to stay with me until 5 p.m. (my daughter and I are fine). -Yesterday, I got an email from my stbx stating she has changed the pick up and drop off location from her house to the local police dept. because she did not want me to pick up the kids at her front door (I told her that I would no longer pick up the kids at the curb). Long story short, I went to her house and they were not home. I call the local police dept and they informed me that my stbx and children were at the station. The desk officer informed me that the Court Order did not technically specify where the kids should be picked up, so they could not force my stbx to drive back to her home for the standard pick. Moreover, since my "dinner time" pick up is from 5 to 5:30 p.m., that even if rushed to the police station, my stbx did not have to tranfer the kids to me (time was 5:45 p.m.)  I fired attorney #1 for poor advice/ lack of advocacy. New attorney will definitely use the attached parenting plan template for trial to eliminate stbx's drama
by djblives   23 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 1:14 PM
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I consider myself a man's man and after reading this parenting plan, I nearly came to tears through dealing with a difficult stbx regarding child custody for our children. Here's why (i'm legally separated in CA with 4 kids, have standard NCP rights, ex is a housewife).
- my temporary court order is very loose and vague on critical issues listed in this parenting plan. - stbx continues to try to change visitation schedule at last minute, specifically on holidays. -she told the kids the reason why she moved out of the house in middle of the night was due to fear and violence. As a result in her new home she continues to insist that I pick up the kids from the curb. There in no history of violence during our past 19 year marriage. -she does not pass on homework from teachers to allow me to review paperwork with kids (in back packs and folders) during their visits with me. I've had to set up a separate communication process with teachers and specialist to ensure I'm involve in all kids' activities and assignments (teacher/administrators have been extremely helpful) -planned secret trip for my 14 year old daughter to go our of State to visit with friends and go to camp in IL and FL for 6 weeks. I originally heard about this trip through the grapevine and requested court order information from her 90 days prior to the trip. Attorney had to get involved to get the proper travel info from her "7 days" before my daughter's travel date and threaten to take me to court if I did not consent to the trip. -I recently call the police to help me escort my kids to my car for a scheduled pick up (daughter claimed she did not want to go with me for some reason???). The police had to threaten my stbx with an arrest to finally get my daughter in the car. -stbx takes 14 year old daughter out of school for one week (without knowledge until I went to open house) because her friends were in town. This was a critical week for key tests (she had a 3.5 gpa). To be continued in next note.
by djblives   23 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 12:40 PM
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dyben - sure, right now maybe the other parent doesn't want to parent, but that doesn't mean they won't still have the right to if they get their head out of their butt. Unless there is a situation where they legally give up their rights, you still need to have custody agreements in place - for the future, Granted if it has been a while the visitation will be supervied and gradual - this document is just a starting point for parents - but never close the door on someone as a parent...the child deserves the chance to know thier other parent if later in life there is a change of heart.
by spaznskitz   7745 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 12:24 PM
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i put this in a google document....

http://docs.google.com/Doc?id=dc876ktm_9d4mq6f2s
by jackson   723 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 9:45 AM
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It's good to have it all in writing even if you don't think its necessary. You don't want to have to go back to court later and spend more money. Not all parents follow this to the T. They stray from it a bit and agree. In the event there's a problem you pull out your order and dust if off it.  Some people can agree and work together and then you have the one's, who unfortunately have to exchange their children at the police station.
by asim   775 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 8:07 AM
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Yes, She has dotted the i's and crossed the t's. No wiggle room and cause for misunderstandings. Everything spelled out clearly so each parent knows what is expected.
by trisha9054   4967 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 6:10 AM
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Holy crap....spaz!!!!

What if the other parent does not want custody at all?  Is all of this necessary?
by dyben   614 Posts
Posted on 7/15/2008 4:37 AM
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