You don't have to pay anything if she moved out until a court orders you to actually.
She also, by the same right, doesn't have to let you see the kids...
I suggest you, at the very least, get to an attorney to get a legal separation agreement in place - as there is no reason for you to have to be subject to that kind of financial burden...
stop paying anything until you are legally required to - including expenses for the kids. You may have been a jackass but it doesn't mean you have to pay for it, literally.
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