The Awful Lonliness.......  

I'm sure right now you can identify some things that are definitely better, you are just focusing on the things you miss, not the things you don't miss.

It's a transformation. Give it time.

 

And you're not alone. I'm in Oregon too, send me a message if you feel like it.

 

Hang in there!

I'm a little older than you and I live on a farm in the boonies. I spend my days on horses or tractors.
You have your freedom. There are a lot of things you can do. You're not tied down by young children. Get a dog.Take long walks. Read books. Find a divorce care group and attend the meetings. I still have friends from the group I went to. 
Start a pet sitting business on the side. Dog walkers are always wanted. I feed horses when their owners are out of town.  I do a cash only business.

I was married to an alcoholic. I am much better off . You will be too. If you carried the load when you were with him; you will find it is easier with just you. Trust me it will get better.
Take care

A pretty smart person wrote this as advice to others getting a divorce:

Don't let the big picture overwhelm you and just take one day at a time...

 

hmmm....wonder who that person could be...hmmm...dunno...could it be...YOU?

You are a very strong lady, you endured over 10 years with an alcoholic - that says a lot...

 

you should start doing things that his alcoholism kept you from doing - take some classes at the local college or community center, take dancing lessons, hit the museums, strike up conversations with people and make some new friends...

 

this is YOUR time - you gave a lot of it away to your husband - time to make up for that...

 

this isn't an ending - it is a new beginning.