Could A Low (or No) Sex-Drive Ruin YOUR Marriage? 

you think YOU have problems?!?! try being born with erectile disfunction and having a shlong thats wider than it is long!!!! then tell me how not having sex affects a marriage!!!!!!

That is a very hard question to answer. Sex really should
not matter in a loving marriage IF the length of the time period of
anti-sex is understandable and reasonable. (example,
my current husband works a lot at two jobs so that I can be a
stay-at-home mom, so he is reasonably tired). I say if it more
than a half a year without sex, than there may be grounds for
divorce... because everyone has a need to feel attractive
and be intimate with the one they love. There should be at
least some effort on both parts (example, although my
husband is over worked, he at least puts in an effort for once
a week or so). If an effort is made, the partner who wants sex
feels more loved and more appreciated. But if the anti-sex period
is too long and there is little or no effort for other reasons
(cheating, no attraction, etc.) then there are reasonable
grounds for divorce, in my opinion.

I meant if no sex is going on for long periods, all nice women appear nicer.  In previous times we had too many arguments.  But even now, if bad words are coming my way all day, then evening good times may not occur.  Rejection is so hard so to give out so there are other signs you might say to honor each other but say not tonight nicely (for dang sure - lol).  I always imagined someone asking me, "Have you ever cheated on your wife?."  I didn't want to hesitate answering the question even slightly.  I wanted to answer calmly, instantly, "No."  No rephrasing of the question, etc.

Gosh, Andrea, I just realized your question was, "Guys would you leave a sexless marriage?" 
No, I would not.  I want my kids to have the same parents, one home to visit from college, etc, etc.  
It would have to be something much worse for me to leave.  But in all honestly every woman pleasant in manners becomes sexually attractive, and I must use my formula (everybody has one) to enjoy the "presence", gaze, sexual excitement (but I avoid ALL racy or sexual discussions) and consider that to be sex - to stay true.  Similar (all due respect to relationships, this is only SIMILAR) to morning donuts brought into the office in past years.  I used to love them but noticed they stuck with me and didn't digest well (only noticeable if really healthy when slim waisted).  So I'd take a wiff only, since that would be the same thing left in my nostrils while the hard to digest donut passed into my stomach, irretrievably about to stay with me.

I agree with how important sex is.  One caveat is how often, almost universally, I read from women if a man has a problem with ED for "Pete's sake see a doctor."  That appears to be a sensible request.  Contextually, however, in these many posts on and off Divorce 360, the onus/burden/responsibility is "get that fixed!" because you owe me.  It's not always fixable so that "closing argument" should be softened (no pun :) a little.  See Dr., have same, then what?  Intimacy is the most important after all (a subtle difference, needed by both).  As a man I have put up with many a wait (never begged though!); both genders do.  A man's best years go by and he's working to get ahead, provide, not fail, not get fired, meet demands for more stuff, find wind down time, get's rude when people slow him down, then gets to middle age healthy or not.  The early explosive man, if strongly influenced by his wife or personal standard he might keep his health and there can be great sexual compatibility when kids gone/mostly gone (our situation). 
Many good, HONEST posts here.   Especially - showing the other person you desire to understand them, and share their burdens, no yelling, and saying nothing that can't be taken back - these goes a long way to enjoyable love-making.  
Men, my wife has said her opinion is if men have ED, that as long as your woman doesn't freak out, then don't avoid her out of fear of failure or rejection.  Accept new likelihood of "sometimes it works" and being together naked, possibly starting in 10 or 30 mins increments naked, all night, etc. and just loving the touch of each other's skin.  Don't let her feel rejected in other words.  She'll have to control her passion same as men in their teens and 20's.  If she won't share the burden with you after all of that, then you know where you stand.  Since there's nothing you need more than her heart, that would show rock bottom, and new life steps may need to be contemplated.

Yes, it most definitely can ruin a marriage. Sex is an important part of a healthy marriage...and while there will be times when you're out of sync sexually, it should NOT be a constant thing. Sex in marriage creates a bond and intimacy...if it's not there, or if you have to beg for it, as I have had to before, that's a BIG piece missing.

He has a right to leave her for no sex for a year and refusing to get help.  I know how he feels because my wife can go without sex forever and after 1 and 1/2 months I can't take it any more and have had to beg her for 4 hours before she gives in. :( Trust me when your spouse has no interest in sex it destroys the marriage. It has been this way since we had been married. When you add on top of that the verbal brow beating I receive a lot because she is a control freak, then their is no way to release tension or know that you are loved. I have been married for 4 1/2 years and will be moving out the house in 2 weeks when I get my student refund check. We still need to sell that house so I can use my on money from my job to pay for an apartment. I have been living in the other bedroom for 1 1/2 months now. 
So yes a lack of sex in a marriage can destroy it for two reasons, one creates a lack of connection, and two lack of release from other marital stresses.

I have been married 2 month and our problematic sex live is a growing burden on our young marriage.

 

My husband and I have been dating for 20 month when we got married and had a more or less normal sex life (2-3 times a week), although he always tended to be a little less into sex then I am, and he never was very active in creating intimacy or initiating sex.

 

Planning the wedding was not easy on our relationship. Because we live abroad and I had visa problems, we had to do the civil wedding 9 month earlier than we have planned the church ceremony with family and friends back home. That's also why we did not have a honeymoon so far.

 

We love each other and both enjoy married life (I do and he at least seems to and says he is happy), we are not stressing about the organization of the “large wedding”, but we probably had sex 4 times since the civil wedding. The first few days nothing happened, then I had my period and after a week  I had to travel for a couple weeks to get a new visa. I didn’t worry then, but since I am back it is becoming more and more frustrating.

 

The first week when I was back from my trip (after being married for 4 weeks and not having had sex once since) he had erectile dysfunction, which he tends to have from time to time when he has stress. I was a little impatient, and after the third time I also started to take it personally and snapped at him.

 

He saw a doctor to get a prescription (both I suggested in no way). However, before he picked up the prescription we had sex after having a little too much wine one evening. We also had sex the next night while a friend of him stayed at our house and was just in the next room (which made me a little uncomfortable but seemed not to bother him).

 

But then it got difficult again. Erectile dysfunction the next time we tried sober and in p

I agree that "Its hard to be sentenced to celibacy when it wasn't your decision!"......

I am the girl who doesnt give it up. I dont feel that when my husband comes home, curses me out, complains and makes me feel terrible that when he is suddenly awwww, hunny, I should have to give it up. Thats like teaching a dog its okay to bite as long as you lick after. Rewarding for NO GOOD REASON.

I would understand if he left me....because i dont want to be sentenced to a celibant life either. Before all the issues we were having we had sex several times a day. Now, I just dont want sex with him. I still have the drive and the urge, but the thought of him makes me quesy!...I suppose it could be a combination of things including a breakdown of verbal communication.... thats when things seriously went down hill.

I've been married for twenty years and suddenly last year my husband didn't want me anymore he says there's no one else. It's that he can't perfom but,he doesn't want to get help.Sure he'll ask the doctor for those pills like viagra but,they don't help he took and it didn't help much.But it's funny all those pills are gone and he didn't use them with me .He says he took them in case things went well one nite and we could have sex but ,when (and if )he took them when he was with me he never let on The problem really isn't the no sex issue it's the hands off,no hugging,no kissing.That all stopped over a year ago.Yes I want a divorce sad thing is I'm financially dependent on him.I want you all to know my husband kisses all his friends on the mouth and they are men he greets them with hug and a kiss on the mouth. He has a few women friends and he hugs them as well but no kiss.I guess that's his way of not cheating on me.Gee what a gift.Anyway my point reallyis (I was just venting before) that he knows what the problemis it's drinking,smoking,and he has high blood pressure and he won't take his medicne.All of those add up to ED. I've asked him to stop at least one of his bad habits.He flat refuses. Hisbloodpressure med. makes him dizzy and he doesn't take it because he works on docks and he's afraid he'll fall in and drown which I understand .So I asked him to go back to the doctor for a diffferent one and he won't do that either.He's cheated on me before also his first wife however she passed away and he didn't bother to tell me till recently he was arrested for solicting prostitution while she was alive had he told me this before we got married I would have never married him.I never forgave him (He kissed another woman )That's adultrey of the heart to me. There was a picture of it to my kid's found it in his truck.He told me he was at a party and saw the pic floating around and got it and he planned on tearing it up.But he didn't I guess I'm stupid for beliving him

My stbx and I had sex a couple times a month and he wanted more as he should, but I couldn't forget all the crap he did long enough to be happy and desire him in that way. I was pity sex and he thought that too.
I want someone to make love to not have sex with. I rather passionate love making in stead if great sex.
Yes, it is a very important part of a marriage just  like communication and respect and the lack of either is a death sentence for the marriage.

Agreed!

I don't remember the last time we had sex. Our sex life has never been very good. Now we're such strangers we don't know where to start. We've done a year without sex a few times. Now we realize it was a symptom of a bigger problem. If the party not interested isn't interested in trying to make the problem better, then that isn't fair to the other person. I don't blame him for leaving, and I think he did it in the most gentlemanly way I could think of. Its hard to be sentanced to celibacy when it wasn't your decision!

I think you sum it up well in your closing paragraph, If the sexless party doesn't want to fix the problem then yes it most likely cause a very serious strain on the marriage, which will lead to other issues of trust and respect.  Which comes first is fodder for a great which came first the chicken or egg debate.

I really don't see it as a gender issue.  Having  healthy sex life is a great gift of nature, something to be nurished and treasured.