Mr. Smith Goes to Divorceland 

Did you read that thing on Will Smith? Somebody was asking about how he kept his marriage going and he said, "Divorce is not an option." Really? How cool is that? "Not an option." That must be a luxury of the first class rich. The rest of us riding in coach get a bag of fuzzy peanuts and divorce.

"Thanks for flying! Come again!"
"Uhm I didn't want the divorce, can I have the fish instead?" "Sorry, here, have a complimentary floatation device, and thanks for flying!"

Not an option. How do I sign up for that? I would have loved to tell MyUnwife that.

"Sorry, not an option."
"Ok."
"Really? That's it?"
"Yeah, I can be a widow instead."
"Ok…wait--widow?"

Yeah, the divorce card was definitely in our marriage membership package. I do know what Will is saying though, and in principle I agree. It's like the self destruct button in the movies. It takes 4 people with lanyards and keycards willing to agree that killing everybody left is the best option.

Oh there's always the one guy with the key card glued to his fingers. He's ready to give up the ship if the mess hall spaghetti is a little sticky. There's always that other guy though to keep balance. You know, that guy who's his polar opposite. Aliens could be popping out of chests faster than Tribbles in toasters and he's still going "No, I think there's a chance we can live through this."

I guess that guy in today's blog is played by Will Smith. Boy is he going to be disappointed when he sees his paycheck for that job. Yeah, I'm glad I don't post my address. I saw him in I am Legend, He'd squash me. Squash me yes, divorce me, no.

Me, I'm somewhere in the middle. I can't say that divorce is not an option, because I've obviously signed paperwork to the contrary. And it's really great if I drew a line in the sand and said "Never again!" I'd look real cool, like some kind of marital red-rover hero, but really I'm just a guy, and no matter what I say, it could happen again.

Oh don't get me wrong. I'm not putting the divorce cart before the marriage horse and carriage. I'd just like some better assurances than digging my feet in the ground while 50 stampeding rhinos barrel down on me.

"Divorce is not an option."

It may work for Will Smith, but I need something more. What can I do? I can't ask a girl to marry me and then go into a long dogmatic diatribe about my feelings on divorce.

"I need to know that if an alien pops out of my chest you won't push the button."
"What?"
 
See? I'll come off crazed! Yeah, I suppose I am, but still, if divorce is going to be an option I'd like to know that it's not going to look like some juicy fruit dangling from a forbidden tree. I need to know that this won't happen again.

Ok, everybody back to your fuzzy peanuts.