Parenting but not together 

I'm so upset about my ex's lack of understanding with our daughter.  She came home after her weekend with him very upset.  After a few hours she told me that her father and his girlfriend had a "discussion" about her in the next room so she heard everything.  His girlfriend said that my daughter is "cold, unfriendly and that there is something wrong with her."  The girlfriend said something like "I'm not saying you raised her wrong but..."  At that point, my daughter left the house.  I asked her if her father stood up for her and she said no that he had not.
I was furious but I kept it to myself.  I told her that there is nothing wrong with her and that it was totally inappropriate for this "conversation" to have been anywhere within her hearing.  In reality, my daughter probably is cold and unfriendly to her father's girlfriend but that's because she doesn't like the intrusion.  The girlfriend was thrust upon her before she had even adjusted to our separation.  She continues to say that her father doesn't care about her.
To top it off, her father sent me an email saying he wants to discontinue our daughter's counseling sessions.  She doesn't want to stop going and told me that counseling has helped her.  I have to admit that I want to call him and yell, but I don't think that will do any good.