divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

profile
Community  :: deadgirrrl's Stuff  :: deadgirrrl's Blog

  click here 
Personal Tags
ADVERTISING PARTNERS


Blogs
You can search for Blogs by tag here:


Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

Fathers and Custody 

I think it used to be expected that, aside from extreme situations, the mother always got custody of the children in the case of a divorce. Daddy would come pick them up every other weekend and that was that.

Growing up, I had many friends with divorced parents. I think only one of them was being raised by her father. I'm not sure what the circumstances were, but she was happy and well-adjusted. She really loved her dad; I can't imagine how she would have felt had she not been able to live with him.

I know I always got along better with my father, too. If my parents had ever gotten a divorce, I expect that I would have gone to live with him. But, depending on how young I was, I probably would not have had a choice in the matter. And if my parents fought over it, guess who the judge would have sided with? To hell with what I would have wanted. I was just a kid, right? The court must know best.

The tide is changing, gradually. Courts are beginning to recognize the rights of the fathers. Sometimes it is better for them to go with Dad. And we're seeing more cases of joint custody, not just those depressing twice-a-month visits at the park or whatever.

It's great. Just because a woman gave birth to child doesn't mean the father doesn't count. He counts plenty when you're looking for that child support, doesn't he? Two people are responsible for bringing life to this world--and two should be raising that same life, equally.
by deadgirrrl  73 Posts 

Posted on 5/14/2008 5:27 PM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend
0

Tags: fathers , rights , custody , visitation
<< Previous Post  |  Blog posts by deadgirrrl  |  Next Post >>


Comments for "Fathers and Custody"  (2) (You must be logged in to answer)




I was wondering....is it wrong for a mother to feel that the kids would do better with the father than with her? I am getting separated and I just feel that they would be soooo much better off with their dad than they would with me because I have no money, no job, no place to live. I have caught so much crap from other people about this. I do love my children and I wish that I could provide for them but I can't right now. That is not saying that I won't be able to in the future. And it is not saying that my husband and I will not get back together because we both want to but we need time right now. It is not a definite thing that we will get a divorce. I hate leaving them, I really do but I am trying to think about them and their needs and not be selfish. If I wanted to be totally selfish then I would indeed take them with me where ever I went but I feel that that is not fair to them. I know that they are young. 1 1/2 and 3 1/2 and they are adaptable but I am a child of divorced parents. I know what it is like and I would have lived with my dad if I had the chance. Does it make me a bad mom to want them to be safe and taken care of? Please email me if you want at denamay.bryant@yahoo.com. Thank you soooo much.
by dena   19 Posts
Posted on 12/19/2008 2:58 PM
0





"...same life, equally..." - I know that our daughter is loved by both parents; although, I do not believe that her mother is right parent of the two to retain physical custody.

I believe that it would have been a long and drawn out battle to fight for custody so I settled for joint custody with visitation rights. Part of this compromise also entails provisions that look out for the best interest of our daughter including the fact that I retained ownership of both residences with one being set aside into a trust for our daughter. In the end, I am hopeful that my daughter will fully understand that my being dedicated to her and her needs, will fulfill her desire to know that her father did indeed love her as best he could unconditionally; and, this is inspite of all of her mother's efforts to keep me at bay simply because she knows that our daughter has demonstrated time and again that she is "her daddy's girl." Her mother believes that the woman has absolute rights and can do no wrong even if she continuously demonstrates a calous disregard for what a promise means, even to her own child... Time will tell and I will be around for our child...
by bp   1239 Posts
Posted on 5/14/2008 5:47 PM
0







Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. When Is a Marriage Worth Saving?
10 Things to Think About When Considering Whether to Stick with a Relationship

2. 8 Things No One Ever Tells You about Divorce
Number Three May Surprise You

3. Divorcing? 15 Costly Financial Mistakes
Settlements: 15 Critical Financial Mistakes Often Made in the Heat of Divorce

4. Beginning Checklist: Planning to File for Divorce
12 Steps to Consider if You or Your Partner Have Decided to File for Divorce

5. Are You Ready For Divorce?
Three Key Questions You Must Ask Yourself