Who Gets Custody of the Friends? 

When a divorcing couple has mutual friends, who "gets custody" of them?

I've seen a lot of journals on Divorce360 that ponder this incredibly awkward situation. There has been a lot of sound advice doled out: don't put them in the middle of things, try to be reasonable about parties if your ex will be there, etc... It all makes sense, but you know what would be even better? Keep your friends separate from your marriage!

I know this isn't something that everyone can pull off. Some have long-standing, mutual friendships from way before they were ever married. I guess you can't help that. I know in my case, with both my ex and my current husbands, there are clear-cut lines between my friends and theirs. Everyone likes one another, for the most part, but some are "his" friends and others are "mine". Problem solved: upon divorce, my friends don't call him-- and vice versa.

The best part is that when you are having marital problems, he has his friends to complain to and you have yours--no conflict of interest. It takes a huge weight off when you don't have to edit everything you say in confidence to a friend to avoid having them feel uncomfortable! And you never have to worry about running into your ex at a party--he wouldn't have even been invited!

Custody of mutual friends? That's one problem I *don't* have, and I thank the good lord for that!