He Always Thought I was FUNNY! 

Tonight I was agonizing about this coming Thursday when my husband & I  will meet again to go over the "settlement".  Or as I like to put it ---- how little does he think he can throw at me to get rid of me?  He is having a lot of problems with the idea of spousal support because his "brain-trust" at his job thinks it's crazy for him to pay me anything.  I mean come on - after 26 years and the fact that last year he made almost ten times what I did --- what could I be thinking.  He has been avoiding this topic like the plague - I think with the hope I will give up.  HA!  When we last discussed it a month ago - he came up with a shameful offer that made me feel like I was nothing more than cow dung that he had to scrape off his boots.  I told him that he may want to give it a tad bit more thought - as I would hate for this to go to trial and have him end up paying more than what I am even asking for anyway.  (I am actually being incredibly fair & reasonable in this matter) I explained to him that there are LAWS in this state which require for the EQUITABLE distribution of assets and for support for the spouse who is now poorer than a church mouse to regenerate.  He said he would give it more thought - as that wasn't his "final offer".  Oh brother.  So - I asked him for a "date" to discuss this so I can file for this divorce.  He is dragging his feet - like he does with everything.  He doesn't see what the big rush is.  He has no plans to marry his little girlfriend - after all she IS still married AND there is the matter of her very young children - 2 & 7.  My husband never liked kids other than ours.  And they are now 18 & 23.  So he has the perfect life in his mind - he has his MUCH younger girlfriend WHEN he wants her, he has me waiting for his "final offer" and he has his freedom.  BUT most important he has control!  OF everything - especially the money.  He loves that!
So as I walked around a store tonight feeling more and more sick - I thought wait a second.  WHY don't I take control?  He had asked me to "remind" him of the date we are to meet to discuss this - as he is just soooo darn busy there is no way his little brain can remember such a trivial matter.  After all he does have to put in the 270 phone calls to his honey every day while holding down a 12 hour shift at the hospital.  The man is BUSY!  So - I thought - sure I'll remind you.  Then I also remembered how much he always loved my really twisted sense of humor.  SO I decided to send him "funny" reminders for the next FOUR days so he cannot forget.  Tonight I made a "Save the Date" card - for a Marriage Dissolution Discussion.  I asked him to bring the Morphine Drip and I would bring the Scotch.  I took it by the hospital and left it on his windshield.  I must say it did give me a sense of perverse pleasure in knowing that he would see the RED envelope and think of how pathetic she is - leaving me a love note.  Only to open it and find a save the date card to discuss our divorce.  Then for tomorrow I made a Marriage Dissolution Crossword puzzle using 22 different words - that would help remind him WHY we want to do this amicably.  Not sure what I will do for the final two days.  Any suggestions?
For some reason - this put the whole thing in a different light for me.  It is showing him that I am not curled up in a ball and that I am still the same woman I was - just a hell of a lot stronger than even I thought I was.