When is it really Over? 

Let me begin by disclosing that I have just learned my ex-wife is getting married. 

Congratulations to her.

But for me, well, obviously it is really OVER... 

As for the rest of you out there, who knows, maybe there is still hope, if there is any desire for that. 

Throughout my process of the last part of a marriage filled with anger and resentment, constant fighting, separation, and actually getting divorced, I have often wondered when it really ended -- when was it over?  Or is it really over?  

After hearing that she is getting married, I guess I finally realize that for me, it might not have been over at all.  Apparently I have been carrying some sliver of hope that even though we are formally divorced, there is always some chance of getting her back. 

Yeah, sounds pathetic and crazy, but I think I saw that happen in a movie once, where after a couple were divorced, they realized how much they really loved each other and got back together.  Like I said, pretty pathetic, I know. 

It's funny how we can stuff down feelings so deep that even we do not know they are there and then some event, one single sentence, just triggers the avalanch and it all comes out. 

At least I am now forced to deal with my true feelings instead of hiding behind the sheild of anger. She says it was over long before we even separated.  Most would think it was over when we separated. And if there was any uncertainty of the end still, once the divorce was final, well, how much more OVER could it be!? 

Apparently there are those of us who still don't get the point.  But now, I guess I must face the reality that there is no going back, no chance of repairing the relationship, righting the wrongs, or getting back with my one true love, no more happy little family for me.   

Hopefully her and her hubby will have a happy enough family for the both of us. Just please don't invite me to the wedding, I'd rather not have to send my regrets.  I have enough of those already. For those of you who may still have some hope of salvaging your marriage, I wish you the best.  For the rest of us, sooner or later we have to admit that yes, it is OVER... really over. Cary