He doesn't want to pay me spousal support!! 

We've been married 20 years.  I'm certain to be entitled to 35% of his military retirement pay.  He will also have to give me alimony for a 1/3 of our marriage, or approximately 7 years.  This doesn't even include child support for our two kids.

The problem now is his attorney is digging up dirt on me to get the judge to grant full custody to him.  I told him it was rotten to use the kids to get back at me.  The kids have even said they want to be with both of us.

The soon to be ex came to me the other day wanting to "talk" about the kids.  He said he would get his attorney to back off & stop fighting dirty if I would compromise what I would ask for spousal support.  Basically, he is saying he will agree to joint custody if I sacrifice spousal support.  Can he do that? 

Besides, we already mediated for child custody & agreed to shared parenting.  Only after he found out what he would have to give me for spousal support he started contesting the child custody agreement.  All he cares about is the money.