divorce360.com provides help, advice and community for people
contemplating, going through or recovering from divorce and the issues around it,
including separation, divorce laws, spousal support and emotional issues.

Community  :: dk-simoneau's Stuff  :: dk-simoneau's Blog

  click here 
Personal Tags

Find divorce professionals in your area

Find lawyers
Find financial professionals
Find coaches
You can search for Blogs by tag here:

Invite Others
Invite friends and family to join you on d360! - Click here

How to Co-Parent after Divorce 

Co-Parenting after Divorce.  Hmmm.  How do you do so, and how do you do it well?  It really boils down to one thing.  Your kids.  I hear over and over that people can't seem to co-parent after a divorce.  First of all, you must realize that even if you were still married you would have had disagreements.  But for some reason once people find themselves divorced it seems that every little disagreement becomes the launchpad for nuclear war. 

I know that you are uncomfortable with your ex.  You may even despise him or her.  Unfortunately this does little for your kids.  You must remember that they are watching.  And you are setting an example of how to deal with conflict with every little disagreement you have.  You are also putting your child in a postion of making your child feel bad that they've caused this kind of disagreement. 

So here are my suggested rules when co-parenting: 

1.  Remember it's not about you and your feelings, it's about your kids. 

2. You cannot control your ex and his or her actions, so don't try. 

3. You can control your own actions and reactions, so choose them carefully. 

4. Choose your battles wisely.  Is it a life and death issue?  If not, is it really worth it? 

5. Try not to have these disagreements with the kids in earshot.

6. When you can, presenting a united front will give you more tools as your child gets older and into the teen years.

7.  Understand you would not have agreed on everything even if you had stayed married, so think about compromise.

8. Take a deep breath before engaging in any discussions, you are more likely to sound calm instead of agitated.

9. Remember that your kids are watching how you negotiate and handle conflict!
by DK-Simoneau  190 Posts 

Posted on 3/10/2008 9:11 AM
Get AlertsGet Alerts!
Sent to Friendsend to friend

Tags: co parenting , divorce , marriage , kids
<< Previous Post  |  Blog posts by DK-Simoneau  |  Next Post >>

Comments for "How to Co-Parent after Divorce"  (0) (You must be logged in to answer)

Divorce360.com is not a substitute for advice from a lawyer, accountant, financial planner, therapist or other professional to obtain advice. Divorce360.com is not intended to, and should not, take the place of professional advice. The opinions expressed in the divorce360.com message boards are those of the author and the author alone. Divorce360.com does not endorse any specific product or service.

expand information center
divorce360.com's ecards
divorce focused content ::
divorce most popular ::
1. 14 Real Life Ways To Save Money
Do Divorce And Money Mix?

2. You Just Found Out They Cheated, Now What?
8 Things You May Not Know About Cheating

3. Dr. Romance: Boundaries with your Ex
Tips to Help if your Ex is Doing Things that Make You Feel Used, Resentful

4. Book Review: Cinderella Was a Liar
Prince Charming Isn't Coming: Enjoy your Single Life or your Partner, Either Way

5. Don't Get Even...Get Mad
Yes, Anger Can Save Your Relationship. Here's How.