The Gump of Divorce-Rob 

So I survived my walk this month! Yeah, considering I've done that walk for over two years now, It's sort of like watching Forrest Gump for the 365th time. He always goes on that long ass Jenny walk, and Lt. Dan always gets shot.

Life is like a box of pit-vipers: you never know which one's got the caramel center.

Yeah, I don't have a Lt. Dan to get shot for, and I don't have a Jenny to walk for. I do have an Unwife who gives me what for, and an interesting life that's certainly not the box of chocolates I saw in the movie trailer.

The walk is a great thing though. I recommend it to anyone who needs to clear the creamy nougat from their mind. Last year the walk may have been the one thing that kept me from going nuts. Working at home can make you feel trapped, and when the one person who's supposed to be on your side wont approach you without a hazmat suit, life gets to feel a little like a taffy pull. Sure, it's great and tasty, so long as you're not the taffy.

The walks let me wade through and filter the impurities from the brain. Last year's walks were really hard, because the crap was so thick, and it stuck to everything.

Divorce soup, divorce gumbo, divorce kabobs…

Time does wonders though. In fact, yesterday, as I'm plodding downtown, my ipod blaring, I thought "Hey! I remember the last walk this song played, I was unhappy." My walks in the past had a mood: very grey. That grey tainted my playlist, and made my candy sprinkles very bitter. What you don't have candy sprinkles when you walk? Dude! You gotta try it, it's the next best thing to the Beatles Yellow Submarine rainbows.

Now I'm starting to feel revitalized. It's like when I was 25. See, when I was 25 I had a revelation. I'd been in retail 7 years by that point, and I knew that I didn't want to be in retail another 7 years, let alone the rest of my life. So I collected my chocolate coins, and went to college. Within a year, I moved from California to concentrate on my studies. It was a Rob renaissance.

Mama always said you have to divorce your past so you can have a divorce in your future…

New Rob got out of college, got married and spent the early part of the new millennium in a daze. I don't blame MyUnwife, although she did make it easy. Then again isn't that what partners do for each other? Free the other person to be what they want to be? I think I wanted to be in a daze. Then I woke up. I had a second renaissance. Yeah, I know what you're thinking. "That's called a midlife-crisis, Rob." This wasn't that. This was like a bear waking from hibernation. This was old Rob finding New Dazed Rob in a divorce. The old Rob was too hot, the new Rob was too cold.

So now I'm the just right Rob, and just right Rob went on Yesterday's walk all blue skies and sweat stink. It felt good. Yeah, I spent time thinking of MyUnwife. I was sorry for things that happened on both our sides, but then a breeze blew through and carried it away. I began thinking about new things—things I need to do, new places I needed to walk.

I passed somebody else out for a walk. She looked really cute in her black shorts and black sports top supporting everything...well you know. She had long dark hair pulled tight in an all business ponytail, coming at me at a good clip. She smiled, I smiled. We crossed. Ok, no it wasn't like some great love story or anything but it's nice to see girls smile at me. I spent too much time walking alone and unwanted. If a woman can smile at me, I can hope.

Run Robby! Run...

I know, sounds pretty pathetic huh? I'm much better than I was though. Flip back to any post pre-September, you'll see. Now with each walk I clear a little more headspace. I get a little stronger. Oh, I'll never be a marathon runner, but my life will never be a box of chocolates or a Tom Hanks movie either. It is what it is, and with each step I get better at dealing with that.