The Postman Always Rings Twice. 

As I drove to the restaurant in the pouring rain, I put my hair up. I let it down, then I put it back up again. The Postman was waiting for me at the sushi bar, and he was much cuter than I’d remembered (of course, it was the first time I’d ever seen him out of uniform). He stood up and there was a brief, warm hug.

If I felt nervous, however, his anxiety made me look calm. Maybe he hadn’t been on a date in a while, either. Maybe the circumstances — how often does a woman pick up her postman? — were a bit unusual.

We didn’t eat much sushi. He talked and talked and talked. He told me about his time in the Navy, his mom, his mail carrier adventures. He’s 40, he owns his own home. What really struck me about him is that he seems like one of these old school, decent, practical gentleman from a century ago. I was charmed.

I asked him loads of questions (I was probably kind of obnoxious), but he just asked me a few (Him: “Have you seen any movies recently?” and “Do you like bowling?”)

This, did, however, make for a good segue to introduce The Child. (”The last movie I saw was Alvin and the Chipmunks.” and “Yes, I bowl — with bumpers.”) I pulled Mae’s pictures out… and he flipped through each one, slowly, but hardly said a word. Talk about awkward.

An hour later, I offered to pick up the bill, and he suggested that we go across the street for drinks (which he paid for, by the way).

Here, three hours into the date, is when things took a turn. I asked him if he had ever been married, and that’s when he blurted out that his three daughters lived with him every other week.

“Excuse me,” I said way too loudly. “But why did you wait THIS long to tell me that?”

“I wanted to give you a chance to get to know me first,” he said shyly, “before I told you about my girls.”

I shook my head. “I don’t get it–”

“It’s our first date,” he said. “I just thought you should see what I’m like first–”

“But I can’t imagine five minutes passing without saying anything about my daughter,”
 
I said. “How could you not say anything?”

In hindsight, maybe he’s just emotionally reserved. After he outed his paternity, however, he immediately relaxed. The change was undeniable.

Outside, two hours later, the rain was still pouring. I held up my umbrella, and we both squeezed under it. He gently put his hand around my waist.

Single moms who urged me to have fun, I did.

Tell me, though: Do you tell your first date, up front, that you’re a single parent?… Or do you keep quiet — until the right moment?

Do you think I overreacted… by getting annoyed at him for withholding his kids?

P.S. Single dad Dr. J, you were right: there was a warm hug, a quick kiss on the cheek, his “I had a very good time”(… and a follow-up phone call!)

P.P.S. Thank you to Crazy Computer Dad for the title of this post, which he sent by email and cracked me up (”The postman….Always rings twice.”) You single dads are on a roll.