How Not to Have A First Date After Your Divorce 

I see this all the time.  I was guilty of it.  I've lived to regret doing it.  You see it is a common phenomenon to want to plug the hole in the dike that has sprung a leak.  You have just been through the emotional battle of your life.  Your heart is aching.  Your head is swimming.  You just aren't making good decisions.  Along comes someone.  Could be anyone really.  In my case it was an old high school flame.  We started talking.  The next thing you know I was completely wrapped up in a full-blown physical affair with someone else's husband. 

Apparently his marriage was on the rocks.  We professed our love for one another.  We had passion like you can't believe.  But in the end, it just left another hole in the dike.  It wasn't so much just because he was married.  It was because I hadn't healed from my own emotional strife.  I wasn't interested in healing.  I was interested in filling the hole as quickly as possible.

Ever hear of Quickcrete?  Doesn't work on hearts!  I was interested in feeling attractive again.  I was interested in being loved.  I was interested in having attention and being told how wonderful I was. 

What I didn't realize at the time, is that I needed to feel those things from myself.  I couldn't look to the outside to feel those things.  So when the affair ended I was devastated again.  I had the hole back, and proceeded to seek a series of emotionally unavailable relationships. 

Not really the way to get back into dating after divorce.  Try healing first.  Take a year or two off.  Fall in love with yourself..........then go out on a date.  You'll find it won't be quite so dramatic, and you might even have fun.