Are There Tips For Men To Survive Divorce? 

This question was asked by a friend of mine, and I really had to think about htis for a long time. This is what I came up with as a few key pointers to help a man survive the divorce process:

1. Choose a lawyer on recommendation. If it’s possible, interview several before selecting one. They do not have to be the meanest, but they do need to be savvy in divorce law – especially if children are involved.

2. Be very clear with the attorney about what your expectations are, what you want, and what you are willing to do. If you are paying them for this work, it should be exactly what you want – they work for YOU.

3. If possible, keep communication open with your wife. If the lines of communication fail, then so will the lines of communication between the lawyers. Each lawyer wants to win the case – don’t let them get emotionally charged at your expense.

4. If you and your wife agree on what is to be split and the arrangements, then come to an agreement over this. Otherwise, you will pay your lawyer to fight to get a lamp or rug and it would be cheaper to buy a new one.

5. Maintain copies of ALL correspondence – even if it includes hurtful letters from your wife.

6. Never bad mouth your wife – ever. Not in front of friends, and especially not in front of children. This can come back to haunt you.

7. Try to maintain calm meetings, regardless of how you feel inside. Yelling and fighting will accomplish nothing, except extra hours of work billed by the attorney.

8. Maintain your health. You will be no good to your children or to any future relationship if you let yourself go. Exercise regularly, which will help relieve stress, and eat a healthy diet. Learn to cook, if you don’t already know as eating out too much can be detrimental to your health.

9. Take up a new hobby or sport. Again, the exercise will be a good way to vent, while learning a new activity will exercise your brain and take your mind off of the divorce.

10. Keep your family and friends close. Don’t shut people out as this is an emotionally unhealthy response to the stress of divorce. Regardless of what you think, people will not see you as a failure – they will be more supportive than you think.

11. Your children come first. If you had children during the marriage, you will be their father forever and your ex-wife will always be their mother. You will be linked to her for a long time, so it is best to try to maintain an amicable relationship. Someday, you will both be parents of the bride or groom and will need to have a united front.