The Abuse Issue 

Sometimes I feel uncertain that I'm really being abused since he has never hit me.  I clicked on the abuse help link on the right of the page and there are some things that fit.  He makes me ask for money, makes me feel guilty for asking for money and refuses to give me money. He tells me that I'm a bad parent.  He acts like the verbal abuse and emotional abuse is my fault. He puts me down.

He sees me leaving as "how can you do this to me?"  It's all about him and his needs.  Mine don't matter.

I really want this to work out and I have to hold myself back from giving up and running back.  However, something is telling me not to go back.  Something is telling me my feelings are legitimate even though I am confused.

I've never cheated on him although I have been tempted a couple of times.  Twice with co-workers.  It never even came close.  I just was attracted to them and if they had made a move I might have responded.

Then recently with an old boyfriend.  It was just a temptation that didn't lead to anything.  He was the only man that really pursued me and made me feel desired and wanted.  I guess I was looking for affirmation that I am still desirable....