Let this Single Dad Tell You a Bedtime Story..... 

I was giddy. At last, a single dad who told the truth about trying to date and parent at the same time! I wanted to invite that writer, Trey Ellis, out for coffee. But he lived in Santa Monica, so I sent him an email. A correspondence began. When I was in NYC this time last year, Trey took his kids to my Barnes & Noble reading. When I heard that he was writing a book, I couldn’t wait.

At last, Trey’s memoir, Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood, is out (a copy is on its way to four of you!). I devoured Bedtime Stories in just a few nights. Then, I asked Trey to be my Valentine’s guest, and he agreed.

Of course, I just have to ask if your ex-wife — or any of the girlfriends detailed in the book — have read Bedtime Stories.

“Anna has read only the first part that’s about her because that was in a book already — The Bastard on the Couch. I don’t know what she or her mom (whom I’m very close with) will say. I’ve asked her mom not to read it. My last girlfriend in the book, the Italian, is very curious but says she won’t read it. She hates reading about how much in love I was with the French girl before her.”

Ah, the joys of writing about your sex life — when you know that strangers, your exes, and maybe your kids will read it. You were bold. Thanks for keeping it real by including condoms in your sex scenes. I’m blown away by how many memoir writers casually leave out condoms, and I keep asking myself, “Wait! Where’s the protection?”

“I guess I never thought twice about it. I understand condoms are a necessary evil until you both commit to each other. That said, sex without condoms is so much better and so much more intimate that I think it encourages you to be monogamous.”

People out there can be really judgmental about single moms who date, calling us selfish and immature. In the book jacket of Bedtime Stories, you’re described as a “Don Juan with a heart of gold.” Do you think that society views single dating dads differently than single dating moms?

“Absolutely. I actually forgot about that ‘Don Juan with a heart of gold’ line. It’s not at all how I think of myself. The vast majority of my time since I’ve been divorced, I’ve been alone. And yes, you’re absolutely right: there is a double standard.

I’ve been told their is something appealing about a bad boy who’s a good dad. Whenever someone calls me a player or a bad boy, however, I just laugh and look over my shoulder to see who they’re really talking about. I’m too much of a nerdy romantic to ever truly be James Bond.”

One of my favorite lines from the book is: “When people hear that I’m principally responsible for raising two kids, they invariably soften their eyes at me as if I were a cancer survivor. They truth is, they’re not heavy, they’re my kids.”

I love that line, thanks. Could you leave us with one last line about Valentine’s Day?

“I’m still an incurable romantic, but I’m an incurable romantic about my kids.”

So, “Happy Valentine’s Day” to the dad who knows what “skorts” are (he’s the first one I’ve met!).

To all of you, single parents, on Valentine’s Day:

I dare all you single mamas to go up to a single dad and wish him “Happy Valentine’s Day”… and you, single dads, do the same for any single moms you pass. They’re out there!

Then come back here and report your progress. I’m waiting to hear all about it!