A New Year and a New Beginning: What will you do differently in 2009? 

 No matter how difficult 2008 was, a new year is only a few days away and you have a chance to start over and do things differently this year. After all, someone once said the definition of insanity is doing things the same way over and over again and expecting different results.

 You may wonder how you will be able to make this upcoming year better than last year. We all make our new year resolutions only to find ourselves breaking them weeks or even days later, so how can you make sure that this year you really will accomplish your goals?

 Start first by making a list of want you don't want. That may sound strange, but you need to get clear about the things in your life that make you unhappy so you know what needs to be changed. Work on letting go of the past and any resentments you may have with other people, including your ex. When you hold on to anger, the person you hurt is yourself. You may never actually like your ex or someone else who has hurt you, but you can release the negative energy you harbor around that person and free that energy up for yourself.

Next, write down a detailed description of how you would like you life to be this year. Include everything you want, from a new relationship to more money, to a better relationship with your kids. Be specific. Visualize your life in 2009 as you want it to be. Warning: do not allow any thoughts about how you are going to get these things to creep in. Just trust and have faith that this next year will bring you everything you hoped and wished for.

Finally, to really ensure that 2009 will be your best year ever, make a list of what you were grateful for in 2008. Feeling thankful for the good things in your life can only bring more of the same to you. Instead of focusing on what went wrong last year and beating yourself up for your mistakes, focus on what you did right. No matter how difficult your life has been so far, it does not have to continue that way. Stop placing blame on your ex, your lawyer, the court system, etc. and understand that you are on control of your destiny and only you can change your life for the better.

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