The Island of Misfit Toys 

Aww Duchick.  Recovery isn't so much all over the place, but it's like painting a dry fence.  In some spots the wood just absorbs the paint and in others, it just needs a light dusting.  We're the same way. Some parts of divorce go really smooth, other parts require more time to soak up and to heal. This is normal.  Just hang in there my friend, you're doing fine.

Eeuuw, on second read that was really a downer. Sorry about that. If there were a delete button, I'd use it!

This will be my first post- Christmas. I gave up Thanksgiving and it was way harder than I'd imagined and I'm not looking foward to Christmas...

Once my folks retired out of state in 2005 I've been on my own in this area -- not a single relative within 400 miles. Thanksgiving has always been spent with my ex's family, and even my folks were included, so I knew that Turkey Day 2008 (mine per the alternating schedule) would be exceptionally hard for the kids because it would just be us, at home. So, thinking it would be better for them, I offered up the kids to my ex for his family's Thanksgiving celebration and was clear to say I was not looking for anything in return. Since he was due to have them the day after, I even said keep them overnight and through the next day, if you want.

He responded that he would 'accept' my offer and 'take advantage of it.' No kidding. He took them for breakfast, which has never been part of his family's Thanksgiving tradition for the 25 years I've been invited. I was quite taken aback, blindsided, at a loss for words and was it really worth it to pull out my offer and point out that I hadn't meant for them to be gone from sunrise to midnight? No. I let it go and off they went. 

But it was damn hard being without them, for the first time in their lives, on the first family holiday post-divorce, and I wondered WTF was I thinking to give that up so freely. That was easily one of the lowest days ever of my entire divorce experience, if not the lowest.

This will be my second Christmas as a divorced person. But it won't be my first Christmas alone. My ex missed quite a few Christmases in the last few years. So I am used to it by now.

As far as gifts: A check to each daughter and that is about it. It will be the first Christmas I will have no family at all with me and that will be a little tough.

I hear you, duchick!  Last year for Christmas, a friend of mine painted a snowmen family on slate with all of our names on it....I have to paint over his name this year! 

One step forward, 2 steps back.......that's how you do the divorce dance!  LOL!