There IS Hope After All 

Yes, Virginia, there is hope for him.  My ex, that is.  I say that because I wasn't sure if he'd realized all this time just how awfully he'd treated me for a long time. 

Yesterday, I had to take my kids back to his house so they could have Christmas before the boys left for a youth group retreat.  I had bought the ex some eggnog flavored salt water taffy as a small present for Christmas.  It wasn't much.  It was really a- "I don't hate you, I just can't stand living with you" gift.  I helped the kids get their stuff out of my car.  We walked it up to the door.  Finally got him to answer.  He looked like something the cat had thrown up after a night of catnip.  He  said he'd gotten up then fallen back to sleep (I could have gone back to sleep myself, but I promised I'd have them at the house by 9.  Just about on the dot.  Getting my kids ready to go anywhere is- as my mother says- like trying to heard cats....).  I told him there was a little something from me in the bag that had his present from the kids.  He barely acknowledged I said anything to him.  This was not the first time I'd bought him something just because I could.  This is something I do often.  I'm a "that is cute, it's inexpensive, what the heck, I'll grab it for...." shopper.  I bought him eggnog the day after Thanksgiving just because I know he loves the stuff.  I'm basically killing him with kindness.  Showing him what a jerk he's been.  On to the story....

I worked until 10 last night and came home exhausted.  My mom's sister is in town, staying with us for a few days.  I haven't seen my aunt in years, so I was up visiting with her for awhile.  I finally went upstairs to check email and I got a text from him..."sorry I wasn't very talkative this morning.  Didn't mean to fall back to sleep."  WHOA!  NOW he's apologizing for not being talkative!  And, he also thanked me for the taffy. 

STOP THE PRESSES!  STRIKE UP THE BAND!  He's finally acknowledged- in a weird sort of way- the biggest problem in our marriage!  Lack of communication- on his part.  Do I want him back?  %&#^ NO!  But, we have 3 kids we still have to co-parent.  We HAVE to talk about them.  SInce they got texting on the cell phones, he texts me about all sorts of things- concerning the kids.  It's progress.  I'll take any I can get.

So, my faith in miracles has been restored.   There is hope we can get the last kid to college and beyond with some semblance of civility.  I keep telling myself, "you are never rid of him (as hard as that is to deal with at times).  You will always have those kids between you."  This is very true.  But, I know at some point in time, we'll be able to be friendly.  That's all I ask for.  And, right now, I have hope....