Have You Ever Wished Your Ex Was Dead?  

 Does your ex make you so upset that you sometimes wish he or she were dead? Do you feel rage and anger towards your ex and think your life would be better off if your ex were no longer around? Many perfectly normal people have had fleeting thoughts such as these during a difficult divorce. Thankfully, most do not act of these thoughts. However, some people, overcome with pain, lose control and become violent towards their ex-partner.

 You have probably heard about the man, who dressed as Santa Claus, gunned down 9 people at his in-laws house on Christmas Eve. This man recently went through a divorce and was seeking revenge. I am sure no one who knew him would have ever thought that he was capable of such a despicable act.

 Predicting who will become violent during a divorce is tricky, since divorce tends to bring out the worst in most people and people say and do things they would never do under different circumstances. Only someone who has gone through a divorce can understand the deep feelings of hurt and betrayal, the feelings of having your life spin out of control and not being able to control your emotions. Most divorcing people will find a way to cope with these feelings, but more often than not, some will act out and become vengeful.

If you are going through a rough divorce right now and are consumed with anger and rage, you need a way to release these feelings in a healthy way. Writing down your feelings in a journal or talking someone is a good way to let it out. No matter how much your hate your ex and blame him or her for your pain, acting out in anyway will only hurt yourself and the people around you.

The incident with the divorced man who committed mass murder might be rare, but there are many divorce related deaths not regularly reported by the media. You may think that even though you despise your ex you would never be capable of hurting someone else. But many divorce related crimes are not premeditated and happen on impulse. If you cannot control your emotions, you are at risk of lashing out and possibly hurting someone physically or emotionally.

 Watch your thoughts and become aware of your feelings. When that feeling of rage rises up in you, identify it and find a way to let it go. If you find yourself fantasizing about hurting your ex and it occurs on a regular basis, it is time to seek professional help. Remember, that although your divorce will be one of the most painful experiences you will ever go through, this time period in your life will pass. If you stay in control and develop coping mechanisms to deal with your anger, one day soon your divorce nightmare will be a distant memory and your new life will begin.

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