marriage counseling? 

Thank you all for your kind words.  So basically, Im hearing that it can work sometimes and sometimes Not!  Also, Im understanding that it works best if both people are willing to go.  Thats good news, cuz he did go with me today to the first visit eventhough it was mostly tons of paper work.  Our next appointment is Monday the 29th.  For the most part we have been getting along pretty well. Still talking about our differences.  He says Im just trying to be controling.  I dont really see where wanting to have a faithful marriage is being controling.  She did ask me today, did I think he was cheating right now?  To my knowledge the answer to that is No.  I just see all the patterns and it scares me.  He told her he didnt see anything wrong with our marriage and I know that love to isnt the issue here.  Got anymore input?

We went to counseling,  first together.  Then I started going without him when I caught him for the 5th time with the women he said he was not seeing anymore.  She told me that couples counseling would not work right now,  because she would not believe anything he tells her since he lied to her from the beginning.  The one question that made me stop and think was,  Would you still be married if not for the kids?  I did not hesitate I said no,  why would I go though all of this pain for him?  That pretty much answered it for me.  She told me that I needed to make the decision myself.  I kept seeing the counselor for about 4 months,  it helps to talk to someone,  but in the end it is your decision to make,  no one can make it for you.  By the way I live in KY, and it is freezing here today. I hope you have a nice Holiday.

My wife and I tried counceling but it didn't help. She didn't believe in it and come to find out, seperate counceling usually doesn't work for marriages.

When it comes down to a marriage anything that may help is worth trying.  It will work better if both went but even if its just one party its still worth trying.  In no way should you fail to try something thats obviously coming up in your spirit to check out.  Do just that and I pray that it work out for you and your family.  Take Care of yourself and remember we're here no matter what.

only you know if you want to save your marriage. you both need to be 100 percent committed to wanting to fix your marriage. it takes 2 people to make a marriage work.

i feel like we have some doubts so far, i wanna know if its worth saving or not...thx

It didn't work for me/us.  I was honest, open, but he didn't want to admit the pain and devestation he caused w/ his affair. He also wasn't honest.  He told her & me it was finished w/ the O/W, but he had lied.  She knew it, confronted him and told him he would be losing his entire world he had created.  He got mad, and never went back.  She was correct...although I DO believe it can work for couples who truly want their relationship back.  It takes 2 people who put forth 100%.

i went to marriage counseling and found it very uplifting. i talked about things i never new that i was hiding about my marriage, my ex husband and what he did to me. i continued counseling for about 1 year because some of the things i talked about was very sad. i hope it works in a positive way for you.