Make lemonade

GIving up Christmas time.

I get the kids for a few hours on Christmas day, how do get throuh it without breaking down into a big old crying mess. I have gotten to see them for all of 3 Thurdays and 3 Saturdays. My stbxw made the offer that I can spend Christmas day from 10-4, I didn't ask it just came from out of the blue. Of course I said sure, what would Christmas be if not for kids. I cannot ask her why because she chose to file a TRO, which made getting them gifts because I have no clue what she is getting them. Everything I got has a gift receipt because I am afraid she will make them take everything back just to get the cash. I want my girls to have a good Christmas without fear of the stbxw. My problem is what if she takes everything given to them by me and locks it away?

I just want them to be happy, why she chose to be alone on Christmas day I have no Idea. Thursdays, are my visitation time so I would have been able to see them anyway. It just does not make any sense to me. She always said she was the only one that cared about them and yet out of the blue gives me Christmas day?

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts

Posted on 12/21/2008 10:40 PM

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Tags: shocked , wondering , being set up

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Comments for "GIving up Christmas time." (15) (You must be logged in to answer)

Thanks everyone, I should be looking at the positive and got caught up in the negative. They will be with me, grandma, aunts, uncles and cousins. While they are with me, I will enjoy every minute. I think I can keep it together long enough to get through the day.

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 8:14 PM

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Maybe it's the Christmas spirit, who knows. Just enjoy the time with your kids.

by Kitty7470 2621 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 2:48 PM

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Just be thankful, forget the reasons or whys! I am happy for you, enjoy! Your kids will just be happy for the time with you... ;)

by kdb 3175 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 10:42 AM

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James, this sounds like she's cracking the door open just a little bit wider.

As for the gifts, please don't waste any energy worrying about what she might do with them because you are powerless to control that.

Focus on the wonderful Christmas afternoon you are going to have with your girls!

by HeraC 142 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 8:23 AM

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Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.. take it and run! I still don't know if I'll get to see the kids on Christmas Day or not... my day is Wednesday and I do get them Christmas Eve, but she hasn't said a word about Christmas Day yet...

by Brian60 325 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 6:36 AM

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You've got to take what you're given some times. Be happy you'll have them and have fun.

by DJPO 599 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 6:07 AM

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Take it and run! Just enjoy the day with your girls! I have a feeling that they will be so happy to see you that you won't have time or the inclination to break down! Enjoy yourself!

by angielou 1563 Posts
Posted on 12/22/2008 5:36 AM

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I have no doubt in my mind. She will change her mind at 9:59 Christmas morning when I have to call her and tell her I am out front, please let the girls come out. Until then I keep hope alive.

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 11:57 PM

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You get the kids Yippie! Who cares about the rest. Whatever she says she may change her mind as why anyway.

by yohon 195 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 11:44 PM

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It could be that she is seeing the stress that it the divorce is putting on the kids and is extending the olive branch. If I were you, I wouldn't question her reasons but merely thank her for the chance to spend more time with your kids. If she is trying to poison their minds against you all the time they get to spend with you will be forever in their minds. Just focus on making those few hours are the best. Instead of worrying what she will do with the gifts you give the girls remember that what ever it is that she does with them, the kids will remember. That is what will form their opinion of her. Focus on being the best dad no matter the curcumstances. Be there and let your kids see that you love them and that they are your world. Everything will work out in the end.

by readyforhappiness 37 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 11:01 PM

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Thanks for the advice, wish I had a credit card. Helping with the cooking would be fun, grandma had a great time teaching them to make cookies but a full blown dinner? It's bad enough they have to wash their own clothes and pack their own lunches. They would do it though because they are great kids but I just want them to enjoy the time together with me and my their in laws, without having to once again witness me me being served, taken to the neighbors without warning or explanation or having to ask mom why there dad isn't home for Christmas.

by Jamesalone 2778 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 11:00 PM

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Maybe she is feeling bad.....just a thought. Take anything she gives you......so what is on the menu?

by vlady 2123 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 10:56 PM

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James, Don't try to analyze it . Just be glad and enjoy the day with your children. So who's cooking for the kids? Maybe they can help.

by trisha9054 4967 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 10:49 PM

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Just a tip for you hon - forget the gift receipts. She can still return them for cash instead.

What you should do (for future reference), is pay for them with your credit card. Cash purchases and debit purchases can be returned for cash by retailers (coming from one who works in this field for now). Credit card purchases however, if she doesn't exchange them, the price paid is credited back to your credit card. So they can only exchange, not return for cash value. :)

(this is of course with the advisory - pay the credit card bill when it comes in out of your available cash that you would have used to buy the gifts originally).

Otherwise, enjoy the time with your kids! Don't worry about a thing else, except making as merry a time as you can with them. *hugs ya*

by delia_M 2861 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 10:46 PM

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hey james good for you. im really happy that you will spend the day with your kids. i also get my kids on christmas day.

by cherbear 5182 Posts
Posted on 12/21/2008 10:43 PM

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GIving up Christmas time.

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