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Living in a bad Soap Opera 

I think to myself all the time that I can't believe what my life is like right now, I'm living in a bad Soap Opera. Actually I can't imagine a writer coming up with this story line and not laughing to himself and thinking it just to unbelievable. My wife is in love with a guy that lives in Turkey after only talking to him for 2 month tops. I get to sit here at my computer and listen to her talk, laugh and cry with him every night. She was crying last night when she was talking to him, I was hoping that they were finally having problems but I think it was just that she is sad that they can't be together. You know that my instinct is when I hear her crying is to go to her and see what is wrong but I know that I would get a pissy response if I did so I just sit where I am. He is married too. Now with the fact that he is married and well she is too that would be enough to say hey this is wrong. The fact that our government wont let him come here because He has no reason to be here. The fact that they are from hugely different faiths, he is Muslim and she is Christen. The fact that she can't really talk to him without a translation program. MY God what the hell is going on here? Was I that bad of a husband that I drove her into the arm of this guy that is so way wrong? I wasn't perfect and I worked very hard to please her but it didn't ever seem that I could. I felt that I was always looking for approval from her but never getting it. Why then is THIS guy so perfect? Has she just built him up to be the perfect guy? I just don't understand what he has that I don't. I just don't understand! I just can't imagine that she will get a lot of understanding from friends and family when she tells them that we are getting a divorce and hey my new boyfriend is Turkish and still lives there. If he can ever make it in to the country you can't talk to him, he can't speak english. I try to wrap my head around this but I just can't. Is she just using this guy as a distraction from her real life or is she truly in love with him? I JUST WISH I UNDERSTOOD THIS!!!!!
by Lostway  360 Posts 

Posted on 12/1/2008 6:22 AM 		Get AlertsGet Alerts!
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Comments for "Living in a bad Soap Opera"  (13) (You must be logged in to answer)
Yeah basically what she has is lust not love here.  Yeah you can be whoever you want to be online or texting and she doesn't know who he truly is just by talking to him.  Hell he can't even speak English for crying out loud!!  What the hell is up with that!!?  How can you be with someone who doesn't speak english - have a translator in bed with you so you know what he's saying--please!!!!!!!!!   I don't see this thing lasting at all and she'll just move on to someone else.  Some people are so insecure in themself that they have to seek out someone else to find them attractive so their ego is boosted up and they feel good about themself.  Yeah sure it's exciting at first, but that will all die down and what will she have, emptiness that's what she'll have.  Once the lust wears off and there's no love, then there's no relationship left for her!!  You don't deserve this at all, and why don't she go ahead and fly her ass on over to Turkey since she's crying every night on the phone.  It makes me sick that she does this in front of you and doesn't give a shit what you think or feel!!  That's pure crazy!!  I'm sorry you are going thru this and I wish you all the luck in the world on this.  Simply put - she's a dumbass for thinking this fling with this guy is going to last and he is perfect and all that.  Noone's perfect that's for sure!!
by freedom   1011 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 10:41 PM
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Billy,

I don't know man I want the thing with him to end, it kills me to hear her talking to him every night. When I came home tonight she was all teary eyed again, I could tell she was crying. What the hell is she crying about with him? She is so sad that they can't be together or what? You are right I just can't see how she can love some one that she has only talked to and e-mailed. You need to spend time with people to really know them, it's just a really big dimension of knowing someone. People can be anything they want on line or over the phone. It's not really. I just wish that she would wake up. I don't know her anymore, she has changed so much. I still love her though, I know I always will.
by Lostway   360 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 10:24 PM
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Kitty,

I don't know what will happen if the fantasy Turkey goes away. I don't think she will come back to me, I do want her back because I do love her but I think that this is a moot point now. She told me that she doesn't feel the same way about me anymore. I wish that we could work it out God knows I wanted to but it's over. She told me that once I go I will never have a chance with her again. Sounds pretty final but for some reason I still want her back and I'm sorry to say if she came to me and said lets try one more time, I would.
by Lostway   360 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 10:15 PM
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Hey  man me too. I wish you were somewhere I could hug you. Mine has a texting affair. It's a made up world brother. It seems in a computer romance, or texting, you can be who you want to be. This guy in Turkey she has built up, will be nothing like he portrays online. He,s just lonely, and she's blinded by the excitment of a new "lover", and she is consumed by it. Do you want to stay or go? I know in my heart, I want my stbx, badly, but she is not the person I loved anymore. She's a liar, a cheat, and a manipulator.

I hate you are going through this, but even if she does end it with this "TURKEY", There will be another after that. I know first hand after I forgave, only to get shit on again. Is this person worthy of your love? I think we both know that answer. Trust me,  there is a nice, pretty girl out there that needs you, and she will appreciate  you, and all you have to do is open doors, look her in the eye, and tell the truth. Let her know daily that she's your everything. Get it? I will think of you, and hope you can digest this. JMO
by Psycobilly   74 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 5:10 PM
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Wow.  I don't even know what to say, except your post was dead on with so many issues against her.  No, this won't last.  When it ends, is she gonna go looking for another relationship on line or elsewhere, or will she try to get back in your good graces?  You need to worry about your own emotions right now.  Let her worry about the turkey.
by Kitty7470   2621 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 3:50 PM
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We are talking but not that much, she only seems to have time for him. I did tell her that she was living in a fantasy world but she insisted that this is real and they share a lot the same interests.I think that if anyone else but me knew about this they would ask her "What the hell are you doing?" I still just can't believe that this is happening. I find myself shaking my head all the time when I think about it, ether that or my heart just aches.
by Lostway   360 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 11:22 AM
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It is unfortunate that what she is doing is tearing your heart out. But she is living in a fantasy world. If you really think about it. Don't you think its kind of funny that she is acting this way over somebody that she will never be with? I am sure when she floats back to earth..which will be soon. Boy is she going to feel stupid. 
Are you 2 talking at all? 
Maybe you can throw it back at her and have an online affair with the tooth fairy.
by Dignified   163 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 9:40 AM
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You deserve so much better. Follow is right - to get stronger and move on. I could not imagine going through what you are right now. That's painful - and unfair of her to treat you that way.
by bear1821   1288 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 9:37 AM
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Soap Operas.. we all live in them. It's how we handle them to get out of the drama. Add more drama and it gets bigger. Don't add to it, and it seems to be less noticeable. Drama to me is bad, people get pulled into it and it is none of their business.

     My perspective on your problem is to get stronger and move on. I too don't think this will last for her so why not think of yourself and don't be the left overs. Sorry if that seems cruel but I want you to get stronger and move on to better grounds. Hang in there.
by bleedinglovepain   760 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 8:49 AM
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9'll get ya 10 this isn't love. it's infatuation. That happens all too often in the online world. Relationships move lightning fast over the Internet. And they end just as quickly.

Myself, I would just sit back and wait for the fall, because it's a guarantee that it will happen.
by delia_M   2861 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 8:36 AM
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Yeah she knows what he looks like, she has a picture of him and his daughters on her background. I'm not suppose to know this but I saw it one day. I hope it doesn't last but I don't really want her to start another fling here ether. That would be hard to see her with someone else, it's hard enough with the internet one she has.
by Lostway   360 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 7:37 AM
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This is what happens.  Life becomes a soap opera.  I used to say, my life was like a bad reality show but unfortunatley it was my reality. 

It will end.
by purebredinip   1194 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 7:19 AM
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Dude...wanna feel better?  This is NOT going to last.  She has too much going against her.  She will probably get bored of talking to him on the phone, and then you'll see it fade away.  She will eventually look for someone else, only to be disappointed that that person doesn't like her, or she's really doesn't like him...  You actually have more going for you than you think.  I have to giggle because I GUY FROM TURKEY?  Does she know what he looks like?  I had a woman from India, who lived in America, hitting on me online, but I was like, uhhh, no...aint gonna work.  Muslims and Christians are like night and day, dude.  This thing will not last.

Flings don't last.  Friends don't last.  The only thing that lasts is love.  Real love.  My STBX is missing the point.  But one day it will fly up and smack her like a rake handle.  Hang in there, buddy.
by Animator   772 Posts
Posted on 12/1/2008 7:14 AM
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