My Wife Shot Me With a Hunting Rifle For Trying to Divorce Her - And I Loved It. 

 The title basically says it all.

After 4 years of marriage we had basically fallen apart and into the abyss of the mediocre. We had lost all that had once brought us together. My wife was no longer my wife - she was merely furniture, a room-mate.

Our existence together had crumbled to the point that we were a luxury to the other. We had become a convenient appliance that beeps and buzzes as it carries out daily errands and jobs without any emotion.

The last time we had been physically intimitate - in a real sense - was over two years ago.

Sure there had been sex, it was the kind that you don't really want but it sneaks up on you and crawls your spine like a bitter itch that you just can't scratch. It seems passionate at the time, but the moment it's over there's just an eerie silence and the feeling of emotional larceny.

So fast-forward up to tonight and I finally put it on the table.

I didn't ease into it or even dance around the subject.

I was sitting at the dinner table and she was at her desk, this was our usual dinner arrangement. There was only minor comments being exchanged when I just spit it out.

"Should we get a divorce?"

I laid it out hot and burnt like roadkill put through a forest fire. This was our "relationship" smoldering and real. It smelled as rotten as it had become and any beauty that it had once held was now twisted and corrupt.

The look she gave me was basically just agreement. Her eyes said enough.

She stormed off down the hall and I assumed that the next couple of hours would be a marathon session of "Who can slam the most doors and wake the most neighbors!"

Which is actually an amazing show if you've ever seen it. God bless American Television.

But no. I was quite wrong.

What I actually got was my wife coming back down the hall with the hunting rifle I kept in our bedroom. The one that had been loaded since I bought it and never used it.

And before I could put my hands up and pull a Fonzy to get her to chill out I took an impressive round in my right leg.

My initial reaction was something like "WHAT THE FUCK!?" but it didn't take long for that to wash away and now it gets strange.

She was standing there, shaking like a wet dog, holding this rifle in her quivering hands and crying her damn eyes out.

You could call me a sucker for a puffy red face or just crazy about women and weaponry, but this was essentially the most livid and alive moment in which I've ever laid eyes on this woman.

It was chilling - to see someone so visceral and displaced. There was nothing mediocre here, nothing common. In all honesty if not for the incredible fascination I had - I'd have been fearing the next shot.

She ended up driving me to the hospital and we reported the incident as an accident involving the cleaning of the weapon and some unsteady hands.

Our marriage has never been better... in the past month alone we've gathered two years of tension and hostility and scattered it away. Nothing could have possibly been better than this and I don't want it to end.

My problem here - is that I know it WILL end and that fact scares the hell out of me... I know that once this shock fades and we fall back into the routine it's going to decay again and frankly, I don't know how many times you can be shot with a hunting rifle before you just bleed out... or your relationship does.

Little help?