When Can A Gal Get A Break? 

On Halloween Day I got the official news that I no longer had a job.  Now don't get me wrong, I wasn't completely surprised, I knew things were really slow and the company was losing business.  But it doesn't matter the reason, it still sucks anyways.   So here I am, unemployed and spending most of my time online looking for a new job.  I forgot how fun it was and how much time it really takes to fill out those stupid online applications. 

Last night a girlfriend called me and invited me to her place for a Girls Nite In of pizza and movies.  I LOVED it.  We ate pizza, watched Baby Mama and had a fun time; I really needed that.  So today I feel a little more relaxed and refreshed, but I am still freaking out inside about finances.  It is really scarey to be a single parent and feel like you are one step away from The Poor House.   

It's funny how when you are starting to finally feel like you are going to be okay that life throws you another hardball.  Not long ago I was thinking about how blessed I was for all the support I've had from family and friends, and how grateful I was for my job because it paid well and helped me feel independant.  Then it's gone.  Oh well.

Anyway, I just needed to vent.  I haven't been on here for a reeeaaaally long time.  My divorce was final in July and I've felt that I've made some really good strides in moving on and healing.  But there is one thing that I STILL struggle with sometimes.  The lonliness.  Not that my ex was around a lot anyway (work, supposedly) but I always knew he was a phone call away and I could call him whenever I needed. 

As I'm making new friends at church events and at singles activities, I still miss that call-anytime-you-want-I-am-there-for-you companionship of someone who really cares.  Does that ever go away?  Or is that just the normal aftermath of going from a couple to a single person, and it'll fade over time?  When am I going to be okay with being by myself?  I don't feel this way all the time, but when it hits it hits HARD.  I don't remember feeling this lonely when I had time to myself before I got married, so I'm sure it's just something else that will heal over time.