You can hate Smart N Sexy here... Go ahead, let er' rip! 

You came hee to start problems! You came here for the "rush" and your own satisfaction....You have proved that....

Women like yourself are a dime a dozen.....You do not scare me by your negativity....You do  piss me off! and you know you piss many ppl off....I do not believe for a second that you are here "to make yourself feel better" as you state.....

So we all know that you are a woman with no moral character or values.....We have you 'pegged'

There are alot of hurting ppl here that is what d360 is about....But I for 1 sec. do not believe you are one of them....I believe you probably have an orgazim and get off on others pain!

If it were up to me, I would boot you off this site so fast your head woul spin!

Smartnsexy you are such a ***slzlls//edi***kdlzzzkd*** and I also think you are a uoooo*****dlalelzzqqqq***!  Wow, I don't think those cuss words should have been that long!!  LOL !!  J/K  I feel where you are coming from Smart n Sexy.  I too have gone through that same feeling here on this site a few weeks ago.  I'm sure glad that you had the balls/nerve to post such a blog cuz I sure didn't.  I had enough people telling me off privately and on my blogs to last a year or so.  God gave you a voice and a mind...speak them and don't let anyone stop you.  That is your right and if they don't like what you have to say, then they also have options and they can turn a deaf ear.  Keep blogging girl, you are my hero!!

Okay, now that being said..(I have never been good at backing down from a "fight"...sorry guys!)

I really do feel sorry for you. I just wish you'd had listened to us all when we were telling you this all would happen....only because you would not be hurt or paranoid so much right now.

I truly don't believe you feel this way. There is no way a real live person could believe some of the things you have said. You are doing it to get people riled up and for attention.

SOOOOO....what is really going on? You have our attention, SNS. Tell us your story and what advice or support you need, we will provide it. But no more lies and drama!

Im not gonna cuss and name call because I actually feel sorry for you. Now that your cockiness level is at a -2 instead of a 10+, you seem kind of sad and pathetic. So yes, I feel sorry for you.

While your previous posts did get me riled up a little, I NEVER took it deep down personal since I know that most (99.9%) of the OW or OM don't last. They are there as glorified prostitutes to escape reality, not live it. But some of the things you have spoken so passionately on are just plain bullshit. (Oops, cussed but no better word to describe it). Good example, you wanted the wife of the dude your boinking to accept reality and stop living in "denial"...what the heck are you talking about? She is married and has a family with this man, THAT is reality. You are just some vulture picking at scraps from her table...that's denial!

You blame wives everywhere when their husbands have affairs? Pure lunacy! There is NEVER a good excuse to step out of the marriage. And anyways, not every man who steps out is doing it because he isn't getting any from his wife (I am proof of that)....sometimes the thing that is missing is just a different vagina. That's all! Now how the hell am I supposed to provide that? I have the same vagina for 30 years. Do you propose I get vaginal reconstruction surgery and nifty little shapes shaved in every few months so that he won't cheat? Dumb, huh?

It's humorous to me that you think of yourself as the new Queen and you are going to be gracious and merciful on the old hag before you by making sure he treats her right. Do you actually believe you have that much power? You are simply some "strange" to him. And he will say whatever he can to keep this "game" passionate and fun. You even said it, he has done this before you and will do it after you. He is at his home with his wife because he wants to be....she is the Queen Bee whether he has sex with anyone else or not.

Lady, I swear I don't think you actually believe this crap yourself!

Great post, and great responses.  I think more than anything, this is a perfect illustration that people, who have been cheated on, don't really take pleasure in any part of the affair.

If you read over the posts, you see that not many people are taking the bait.

As a group, it appears that being cheatd on causes a lot of pain and anguish. 

Whereas the ones who initiate and instigate the affair seem to enjoy the sense of control it gives, and maybe actually enjoy the response you get from the pain you create.  Interesting stuff.

Your voice is soothing, but the words aren't clear.

Hey smart and sexy- you seem to have a chip on your shoulder. Maybe someone in here has hurt you or whatever. I feel no anger towards you- not a bit. I am not in your shoes - I have no clue what is going on totally in your life. What I will say is that this is a site to learn, make friends and vent. This site is full of hurting people , most of which are going through or have been through a divorce for various reasons. It seems that you want us to be angry at you? I can't understand why you would post in a way of trying to get people stirred up etc?
I really hope things work out for you. I hope that you find what you are looking for in life and that find happiness. From your posts you don't seem to be. I wish you all the best!

Men who cheat probably are no gift to you sexy and smart, so we don't have to say anything.  He will probably do all that bad stuff to you one day, because men who cheat are liars. .they say they love and they don't , usually to two people at once.

I agree with auntbirdy in a sort of way. We all have done things that others would disagree with and that may have hurt others. It's apart of being human. So if we are to judge or hate someone for what they have done that we don't agree with, are they to judge or hate us on what we have done?

 

I feel strongly that cheating is wrong, but what about the wrongs I have done? Who hates me for those things. Disagree yes, Hate no.

First There is not one Person here  who is GOD!  If  anyone is going to play judge we;; play i correctly .  Gather all  of the evidence all the facts ! For  what is  written , what is said,  Is not always a fact ! This  is a place were  NOT One of  has the right to Hate ! I am sure there  are many Skeletons in  everyone's closet. So Instead of Hating and judging , Try  reading  open your heart  your eyes Right or wrong in  our own personal books Gives us no right to force them on someone els , Just maybe this person has been  begging for help and shocking  stretching the truth is  one way to get it! Most of us live in a house of hate  lets  not spread it here.!  Besides  SmartNsexy  is doing a great Job of beating herself  up!  So much so she  begs  some of us to  yell at  her.

I agree fully with icanwishonmistar--that's all I'm saying--not taking the effort to comment any further on this blog--not worth my time or effort here.  It is what it is...and she is what she is.....

opps soory about the large letters.

continued again...Havingand affair and then pretending that everyone is perfect and loving is deceivingand it causes pain, when the kids most likely already know something is goingon, and they just can't put a finger on it, is just as bad as talking withinearshot and risk spilling the beans about the other parent orthemselves... I am 49 years old now, but I figured this out when I was 9the first time, 15 the second time, 22 the third time. When I was 9, I didn’tlike the way he looked at this one friend of my moms. I was astute then. At 15,the same astuteness hit me like a freight train.  By the time I was 22 I was getting good at it and spilledthe beans to my dad that I knew everything…. I’m 49 and in therapy. Why? Ifound out my husband is GAY! Just had to add that in there. And no, I have nothid it from the kids, they know. They have been told to come to me if they haveany questions. They can’t go to the dad, who is GAY! Because, well, he’s ad*ck.

See??? Iwas nice and didn’t play the “hater” J I think I played the part of aninformed “talker” very well. Don’t you? Praise me, I like praise. : )

 

continued....Because children are pretty smart, and they can put two and two together and they already know if their mom or dad are being deceitful. Or know that something just isn't right. They don't need to hear it out of their parent’s mouths, they can sense it.  There is a look in the parents face that they can read, a look their parent gives another woman or man, the tone in their voices change when the other man or woman comes around... and so the pattern the kids see get etched into their heads... the looks on the face and the tone in the voice may go away for a while, and then, the looks in the face and the tone in the voices comes back again… and now, they put it together… it changes when they are around “this woman” or “that man”. Now, fast forward... to about when the kids are...30 Years Old, and all this time they had this nagging feeling that something wasn't right and they kept what they suspect about their parent(s) behavior to themselves.... it will most likely eat into their adult relationships and cause huge therapy bills... because they don't know why they have problems trusting their spouse, or boyfriend or girlfriend. I am sure you are getting the drift.  I am not saying to tell your children that you, or the other parent is having an affair, I am trying to say is...... continued

Let me first state, I am not being a "hater" as I write this. You say you are using these blogs as a way to be 100% honest with issues and feelings.... I need to comment on what you wrote "I have NEVER EVER condoned any behavior towards children that would cause them pain" in Revenge vs. forgiveness.  Your behavior in being the "other woman" is a behavior that would cause your children pain. I am being 100% honest that I have an issue with that. Though you do go on the write that you will never be heard discussing your sexuality with your current partner, within earshot of kids, I can assure you, it doesn't need to be discussed .... this will be continued.....

Q: Have you heard about the restaurant on the moon?

A: Great food but no atmosphere!

HA!

We need a little break here folks ..................

I do not hate you......I may not like what you're doing and have stated just that.  If what you are going to write about is what I think you are going to say, then....I'm so sorry you had to experience any pain at all.  NO ONE deserves to be hurt by anyone.  That is emotional abuse.  Whether we put ourselves in those positions or not, we do not deserve to have our hearts trampled as though it meant nothing.  I will be thinking of you with concern until your next post.......

I have a cuss word longer than 5 letters:  G-O-M-E-Z-Z.

How about c___s____r?  Technically 2 words, but nobody's counting.

I'm sure there's more, I just haven't been down Texas way in a while...

I agree, paula. I made some condemning, judgemental comments on SNS's last post--It didn't make me feel any better, and I didn't accomplish what I had hoped.

That said, I invite anyone who reads SNS blogs (this one or any other) to try not to get too fired up about it. Try not to be mean and nasty. That really isn't what this site is about. And there are some folks that are actually leaving or have left D360 because of all the nastiness here lately. There's other forums for that. Leave the dung-flinging where it belongs. Expressing your opinion is one thing--calling names and being hateful is childish and is not conducive to the kind of healing and support this site is for.

Please, please--let's not turn this support group into a hate-fest.

Actually SNS - I doubt you are going to get any "hater" posts here....mainly because emotion on here is pretty much "post driven" it's about what is written, not the person themselves....and

I highly doubt there is a single divorcing person on here who will appreciate being told when and how to tell you off...it's too much like the controlling people they are trying to get away from. =)

 

When you post, you get what you get...it isn't really up to you to dictate the conditions beforehand....although guidelines do state to be respecful....and hopefully those who dislike you and your posted situation & opinions will stick to that.

"...safe environment..." - Wow, an eco-friendly blog that others can really get behind and promote...! This is a very charitable thing to do... Is there a tax write-off available for this type of energy-efficient form of vented expenditure of precious resources...? Thank you for the opportunity...

Listen Paula, it is okay in some circumstances to vent, I want this blog to be a safe place to express anger at things I have written that make people angry. 

My next blog has the potential to just have a bunch of people who are angry at something I said in the past come on and say, "Ha ha, you deserve the way you feel now you ___"  and while that might be a valid response I am going to be asking people not refrain from that type of comment.  But they will still want to, so I am giving them this forum.  Let it go~! I can take it here.  Just not under the blog I will call,

DEEP REGRETS and PARANOID CONSEQUENCES.

nobody wants fighting or swearing or any personal attack on this site.  not one member wants that.  this is a safe haven to talk, vent, ask for help, offer help and find solace as we all figure out how to handle our own personal situations.

let's keep it a safe haven....for you, for me, and for everyone else.

please feel free to post whatever you want/need to say. that's why we are here. but let's not encourage negativity. 

divorce is a passionate topic.  many of us are in great pain.   let's help one another here.