Oil and Water 

A baby is so cute in so many ways when it is first born. My sentiment about a baby is a sharp contrast to the sentiment held by my maternal uncle whom I have found to be an inspiration in many ways over the years. He does not find them all of that appealing but he was very gracious in telling me that he thought my little girl was absolutely adorable when he first saw digital photographs of her years ago. This man has a vision that is unique and well-cultured. He is a retired oil executive that made a good deal of money over the years of his long-term career in that industry; and, as much as we, in this society, may have issues with the state of our world economy and dependencies on foreign oil, this man was not at the root of this necessary evil. I have received much from his guidance over the years and I have been the recepient of a good swift kick to my ego when needed, too. All-in-all, I know that I can count on his words and wisdom when dealing with many aspects of my life. Concerns from this man came at a time in his life that he would witness the final breath inhaled and exhaled of the woman that was his wife in excess of 56 years. He and his family were there to provide solace to my mother and her children upon the death of my father almost four years back; and, thus, ending a marriage of over 54 years. There was a shared concern on his part and the part of my mother when the news about my separation and pending divorce was looming above me in this past year. Concerns for my well-being and that of my little girl. The imminent conclusion of my failed marriage has opened a plethora of other opportunities in my life that were certainly unexpected but I am thankful of the bounty. His words have always had a lasting effect on me and it is no wonder when I reflect on the example of his life. And, his most recent words to me, based on a lack of understanding and commitment in my failed marriage, have some very basic truths.

Life does indeed move on whether we wish it to or not; and, this, too, has been the case for my ex-spouse. Her world has been blessed, as of this day, with the birth of her baby boy from her friend. I do not have the desire or intent of dragging my thoughts over all of the transgressions that occurred prior to her exit of our marriage, let alone all of the things that she has done since that time frame. I do recall the recent unexpected call on Sunday when she attempted to reach me but I was not available. This was her weekend with our little girl and my whereabouts have never been an issue unless she is unable to reach me. I can only conclude that she gets angry and very possessive when I have neglected to wear my leash on my solo weekends. There are many instances in our past when I know I shared this same frustration but, alas, we were married at the time and this has not been the reality of our lives since the beginning of May. Her words of frustration were quickly raised but I chose not to participate and deferred her concerns towards her friend, I am not he. She expressed a sense of apathy towards her pregnancy but I did not relent my position, since I knew what had to be done in years past but her world, this life she has chosen for herself, is not that in which I wished to be snared within.

The November holiday is almost upon us and I am so looking forward to what I have planned for this year. The end of the month was to bring about the birth of my ex-sister-in-laws baby with her long-term friend. Unexpected is what I was told a while back when she was attempting to get her life into some kind of order; and, quite possibly forever halting her final year of university studies. The premature birth of my ex-spouse's "unplanned" child certainly raises the bar on how to best navigate a future for my little girl in a world full of surprises and compromises. I know that there will be much joy in their worlds with the birth of this baby and the pending birth of the next. I am reticent about my feelings to some extent but I do have a robust sense of urgency in my determination to be a much better influence, a mentor of sorts, for my daughter. She needs a considerable amount of guidance in dealing with the spun world of lies and deceits that are that of her mother and aunt.

I know I need not communicate any of this with my uncle for he has given me in ways that my father was unable. And, as a father, I know that I have long ago felt blessed to have a mother and father along with other family members that have impacted on my life when it most counted, in my early years when I least knew or understood. He is not responsible for our problems with oil. Just as he is not responsible for what has happened to our environment and the pollutions of our water. The marriage that was recently placed in check-mate is a life-game over long ago. Oil and water do not mix; and, as much as good blood does keep many of us bound together, I do not have bad blood to share with my ex-spouse. The baby is not a keeper of any peace but it is a reminder that we have a responsibility to others; and, mine has nothing to do with their world but it means everything to me for what it impacts on the world of my little girl. I may have lost my queen in all of this but I still have many moves available to me in her life-game, she means the world to me...