The kids and Sunday 

I got the last coat of primer on my son's bathroom done today. I made meatballs (a huge batch), I shouldn't have to make any for at least 2 months. I made rice krispy treats to go in the kids lunches this week. (the chocolate kind). I also made it through about 7 boxes of stuff that was mostly my stbx's. We moved into this house just over a year ago and there were things that were never unpacked. We were waiting until we got all the painting done, which never happened. The dog got a bath and we caught up the laundry. I am tired but I feel pretty good. I am making this house into my home for me and my kids. It is not going to have his mark all over it. I would redo the color of my bedroom but I like the color. I will probably eventually replace the sheets and comforter, but I am being economical right now. There is so much still to do to the house, Christmas is coming up, etc..(isn't that the way it is?) I ran out to get eggs and my daughter and I stopped by Starbucks and indulged. She loves Starbucks and hasn't had one in a long time. She is going to be 17 this week. I wonder if her dad will even call her to wish her a happy birthday. My stbx hasn't called her once since he moved out unless he was trying to get her brother and couldn't. She has noticed this and it hurts her. My son isn't getting very many calls either. My son has only called his dad about 3 times this month. My daughter rarely calls her dad. I think my kids are waiting, waiting for what I am not sure. Waiting to see if he will forget them, if he will make an effort to stay in their lives? My stbx IM'd me earlier, telling me that he would be over on Monday to give me the money he borrowed from me. My daughter is going to a concert on Tuesday with a friend. (that was her birthday present request). I bought one ticket and my stbx bought the other one. I am dropping the girls off and he is picking them up. I told him there was no reason for him to come over tomorrow, he could just bring it when he brought our daughter home. He could pick up a load of his stuff at the same time. I asked him if he was planning on seeing the kids before he went out of town for work. (he is going to be gone the first 3 weeks of December). I told him that we had been making plans and I didn't know what he intended to do if anything. He has not once taken them overnight. He has only taken them about 3 times for a couple of hours. (not much when they were used to him living with them their whole life and 2 of those 3 times, I forced the issue). He figured he might be able to see them for a couple of hours on the Sunday after Thanksgiving, he wasn't sure yet. I want to be so nasty and ask him just what it is he is so busy doing that he can't make time for his kids. I am not going to though, it won't help. It won't help my kids have their dad and I will just come across sounding like the nagging stbx. There are so many parents out there that would love to spend more time with their kids and here I have given him the opportunity to talk to his kids everyday if he wants and to see them whenever he wants as long as he calls and arranges it first, I don't just want him turning up, and he doesn't even seem to want to. Would it really hurt him to take 5 minutes out of his day to call the kids and let them know he loves them and to find out how their day has been? I know one thing, if I ever do date, it will have to be to someone that can love my kids too. My kids dont deserve this abandonment from their dad. It was one thing to do what he has done to me but to our kids? I hope that young piece of ass is worth what he is throwing away. My kids are old enough to realize what he is doing to them. His family is pissed at what he has done to me, they would find what he is doing to the kids unforgivable if they knew. That is only a matter of time. My daughter can be quite vocal when she wants to be. I wish I knew the answers here. I am doing ok as far as my own emotions are concerned about my marriage ending, at least for now. My heart is breaking though for my kids. All I know how to do is keep loving them and to be here for them and to try to be both parents as much as I can. I wish I knew if I was supposed to be doing something else. I wish I could spare my kids this hurt.