"Indecision may or may not be my problem."  

jimmy buffett said that.

i do pro and con lists when i need to make a decision.  literally, i take out a piece of paper and pen and make columns,  X vs Y. under that i have more columns, pro and con. 

sometimes the decision is very, very clear.  other times, no matter how much i try to compare apples to apples, it's either a tie or very, very close.  

that's when i usually pick up the phone and call everyone i know and read my pro/con list to them and ask what they think.   it frustrates me when they don't know.  

decisions are hard.  my father tells me when you don't know what to do, do nothing.  i think he stole that from someone.  

my sister says when you can't decide between A or B, you should choose neither and go with C.  

my friend tells me she has no problem with decisions...she just picks both and lets the consequences be damned.  

thornton wilder said: "The more decisions that you are forced to make alone, the more you are aware of your freedom to choose."  are we afraid of freedom?   afraid of having the weight of freedom on us...meaning, all decisions are now our responsibility only?

i have to weigh everything out. its a long and boring process.  i fret over it and look for signs.   not very scientific or logical.   i believe there is a rush song (yes, i am aware i'm dating myself,  but so is that little description up there below my name that clearly states my age)....anyway, there's a rush song with a line in it about failing to make a choice is making a choice..or something like that.  

i always liked that line.  it's true.  you end up having things happen to you, where you now need to react and deal.  but the truth is, that by failing to make a decision, you are basically a passive aggressive decision maker.  i guess those of us who do that feel like we won't have to be responsible for the outcome....hey, i didn't make that choice. it just happened to me.

well, it happened to you because you decided to not do anything to make it not happen....or you failed to take steps to go in another direction.

someone here wrote a post today about how sharing her computer with her husband made her realize she couldn't trust him anymore.   napoleon, (yes, i'm actually using a napoleon quote said: "There are times when a battle decides everything, and there are times when the most insignificant thing can decide the outcome of a battle."   is it about timing or circumstance?  or is it all fear?   are we afraid to make decisions? 

i mean, we make a million little decisions every single day, right? coke or pespi.  paper or plastic.  how hard can it be to make big ones?  

there's always plenty of excuses floating around for why we don't make decisions.   i'm too busy, too tired, too hungry to start that diet today.  i can't because of the upcoming holidays.  i shouldn't because it will cost too much money.  i would like to, but things are so busy at work right now.  i know i should, but i think i'm getting the flu and need some rest.  i will soon, but first i need to focus on getting in shape.  i'll start tomorrow, after i've had a chance to take a little break.  i don't want to upset my kids/spouse/relatives/neighbors/boss/coworkers.  i don't know where to begin.   

and then there are the buts   but i tried before and it didn't work.  but my friend did that and it was a mistake.  but i don't have the money right now.  but the new school year is starting...sooo busy.  

followed by the what ifs.   what if i fail?  what if i make a mistake?  what if its the wrong decision?  what if it makes people mad at me?  

decisions are hard.  decision making is difficult.    or maybe not.  

as dr. seuss says: "You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself in any direction you choose."