How has dating changed since the last go-round? 

Dating has changed a lot. First off, I find there to be an air of desperation when people are single past the age of 30. There is a rush to be "coupled." And yes, there is also a rush to a "relationship." People want exclusivity, I think, because everyone gets tired of the dating game. They want to find someone who'll at least "do for now" so they stop their search. But here's the deal: Just because others act that way doesn't mean you have to follow suit. It sounds to me like you're choosing methods to meet people that attract the exact type of person you're not interested in. The Internet can be a great place to meet people, but it definitely has its drawbacks as well. Speed-daters are typically looking for a quick fix. They want to meet other singles but they aren't willing to devote the time and energy to do in a traditional manner. Speed-dating is a rush, so it makes sense speed-daters would rush relationships.

The thing to remember is that the right match for you is out there somewhere. Rather than work overtime to find that person, though, you should try throwing yourself into activities that fulfill you and just remain open to the possibility of meeting romantic interests. You never know what might catch you by surprise.

I was never good at dating either. 

This is what I've noticed, you are correct, everything is in fast forward.  But not necessarily for a 'relationship.'

e-mail and text messaging are the two primary forms of communication.  Phone calls are a once in a while thing. 

Everyone seems to be independent and hardly anyone wants to give that up. (It would seem to me a good relationship means you give up some of your independence for one another.)  

It's a quick learning curve, think of it like a roller coaster going about 100 MPH.